Someday We'll Know
by jhart09
Summary: Roger, Mimi and their friends figure out love and learn to face their pasts while facing hardships, loss, and surprises. RMi eventually MarkOC and the rest of the gang.
1. Nevers and Maybes

Chapter 1: Nevers and Maybes

He sat on the windowsill, guitar cradled in his arms, hoping and waiting that she would come home soon. The past three weeks had been a whirlwind for him, and he owed it all to her. She had gotten him out of the loft. She had made him smile. For the first time in a year, he could honestly say that he was happy. Mark was out filming for his documentary and he sat, just watching the street below him for any sign of her.

Like a cat in the night, he saw her slink out of the drug store on the corner, cigarette in mouth, and skimmed the surface of the pavement back to the loft. She smiled slyly at him when she saw his figure in the window. He was waiting for her. He knew what would be on her mind tonight, and he couldn't help but feel nervous. He could feel himself already falling in love with her, and it scared him.

Their days were counted, and they had agreed that they shouldn't waste it. _Live each day to the fullest_, she had whispered in his ear as she disappeared into her own apartment a few nights earlier.

Ten minutes had gone by, and he was sure that she would have been knocked on the loft door by now. He couldn't help but suspect that she was downstairs, in her apartment, needle in hand and waiting to feel the ecstasy that once made him feel so alive. He wanted her to make him feel alive, and he wanted to convince her that he could give her that same high that the drugs did.

Lost in thought and worry, he again thought about what had happened the night before when Mark had walked in on them.

_ Mimi rolled over, leaving both her and a shirtless Roger gasping for air. The kisses grew fiercer and more passionate. Her hands slowly trickled down his front, teasing his chest, gently pulling at his skin until they reached his belt._

_ He nodded for more. Hell, he needed more. It had been so long since he had been with anyone. Any thoughts of April or heroin exited his mind as Mimi roughly unzipped his pants and tossed the old belt aside. _

_ Looking up from his waist, she grinned at him and slid up his middle to capture him in a deep kiss. Still in her skirt from the club, his hands traveled down to her inner thigh and he removed her lace panties and threw them in the pile with his shirt and belt. She moaned his name as he again pulled her into a kiss. He smiled for a moment before she placed a finger to his grinning lips._

_ "But baby, I wasn't done yet," she whispered as she placed kisses down his chest. Her lips traced his sweaty torso and landed on the rim of his boxers. She slowly pulled them down, exposing the musician in the middle of the loft. His hands found her head and he raked his fingers through her long curls while letting out a soft moan._

_ "God Mimi, please.." he said, begging for her to go on. She rightfully assumed that it had been a while since someone had touched him like this. "Oh..Ohh.." he murmured, hips thrusting upward, just as the loft door flung open._

_ "Hey Roge-oh shit..sorry..I..I was just leaving," Mark said while slamming the loft door back shut. Mimi giggled and pulled her panties back on while an embarrassed and flushed Roger made his way to the bathroom. When he came out only a minute later, she was gone. Only a note remained on his sweat soaked tee shirt – Tomorrow Night, baby- Mimi._

True, it had been a long time since he had been with anyone. Not since before April-wait that was a lie, he thought. His thoughts drifted to a night be barely remembered, a night that he only fully could remember through what Mark had told him.

Then there was that time that Maureen had offered sex to get him out of the loft, but he'd never do that to his best friend. He laughed to himself remembering but his face turned stone cold as his thoughts drifted back.

_ It was only two days after he had found her in the bathroom. He remembered reaching his arm underneath his bed and pulling out the small bag of powder, the spoon and the needle-a needle they shared. It didn't matter now, he was dying. _

_ He expertly took the lighter to the spoon and filled the syringe. A minute later, the heroin was racing through his veins and he fell back onto the bed. The next thing he remembered, he was in a bar. _

_ Music racing, sweat flying, and girls everywhere. She couldn't have been more than eighteen, but he didn't care. She took his face and planted rough kisses all over it. He motioned for her to come to the bathroom. He lifted her up against the wall, pushing up her skirt, and unbuttoning his pants quickly. "Wait," she let out calmly, "not here." She took his hand and led him into the alley outside the bar. "Shhh…" she said as she lifted the needle from her bag, "this first. Then we can go back to your place?"_

_ "Mmm," he obeyed as she tied his belt to his arm and injected the drug into him. He let his eyes close and again kissed her. Her name was Jenny, Jessica, Janice? No, it was Jillian. He was so far gone that he didn't even notice when she used the same needle to pleasure herself._

_ The next thing he knew, he raced with her in his arms through the loft. It was a frenzy of lips, clashing teeth, and sweat. Pushing her into his room, she let out moans and screeches, as if she was ready to have him, only him. She looked innocently at him when he threw her onto the bed, "Please be careful," she said quietly while kissing his neck, "I've never done this before."_

_ He didn't care. He was rough. He slammed her against the bed, while she tried to undo his pants. He slid them right off. When had he gotten so thin? She took the condom from her bag and handed it to him. He took a moment to rip her skirt off, and put his weight on top of her._

_ "Please," she looked at him with fear in her eyes. For a moment, he pitied her and sympathetically brushed a face from her hair and smiled. She smiled back. She assured him with a nod and pulled his lower back into her as she cried out. Her cries and moans echoed through the thin walls of the loft. _

_ Every thrust was a release of his anger, every shudder of his hips was his aching for April and what he'd lost. He barely noticed as the girl's head crashed into the headboard. "Apppril," he moaned, not even acknowledging the aching Jillian beneath him. He collapsed on top of her, still breathing heavily. He could hear her crying softly into the dirty pillow case, April's pillow case. _

_ When he awoke the next morning, she was gone. His sheets were slightly stained with blood. Mark walked into the room and shook his head. "Roger, what did you do?" he said in a stern voice._

_ Roger nodded and fell to his knees, "I don't know Mark, I just miss her so much."_

_ "Forget April. Who was she?" Mark asked, still anger in his voice as ran a hand through the musician's spiky blonde hair._

_ "I don't know. I barely remember. Please, just help me, please." _

Suddenly the door knocked. She was there, waiting for him. Waiting for him to show her how much he cared about her. It occurred to him only then how much he felt for her and wanted to make things work. He was scared, nervous. He couldn't do this, not yet. It was too soon.

"Mimi," he breathed as he opened the door to the loft. She grabbed his long blonde hair and before he could contest, pulled his body into hers, slamming them up against the door.

Chapter 2: Another Day

As she kissed him, he questioned if he'd have the power to push her away. Slowly he pulled his mouth from hers. Her palm pressed firmly against his chest as he let go of her waist.

"Mimi, I just can't," he spoke quietly, turning his head from her and making his way back to his fender.

She followed him wearily before speaking. "But baby, last night?" she questioned while placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I said no, Mimi." He disappeared into his room. She brought herself to the tattered couch and brought her knees into her chest, rocking back and forth.

He sat on his bed. What was she thinking now? She probably thought he never wanted to see her again. Maybe he shouldn't have been so cold. How could he admit that he was scared of being hurt, of hurting her? He wanted to be with her so bad, but there were consequences.

The door to the bedroom opened slowly and he saw Mimi still sitting on the couch. She had fallen asleep, her hair all in her face. Walking over to her, he noticed how peaceful she looked. It was only now that she seemed nineteen. How could something so angelic and youthful be the same person onstage and shooting up backstage? He knew. He knew how it jaded your entire being.

He effortlessly picked her small body up into his arms. He considered bringing her back downstairs. She was shivering. It was only January and the heatless loft was nearly as cold as outside.

He placed her on his bed and tucked the blanket up to her chin. She shifted in her sleep and opened her eyes for a moment, only to murmur his name and let out a small smile. "Shh baby, it's ok. Go back to sleep."

It would be ok. He could sense it. Maybe she was falling in love with him just as much. He still was worried about the one small thing that could bring him down, which unfortunately was the one thing that brought her up. He decided to forget about it for the night.

He removed his shirt and put a hand through his hair. God, she was so beautiful, he thought before slipping beneath the covers and wrapping his arms around her. He soon drifted to sleep with her in his arms. This finally felt right.

Mimi's eyes opened when the sunlight hit her face. Roger still had his arms around her waist. She sighed as she looked at the beautiful man beside her. Had anything happened? The last thing she remembered she had been crying in the loft.

She ran her fingers through his hair, and his eyes opened. He glancedat her face in the morning sun. Her face was still red from crying the night before.

"I'm sorry," he muttered and kissed her forehead.

"Roger," she paused, noticing again that he was shirtless, "what happened last night? I mean, did we?"

He looked at her puzzled. Had she been high? Oh god, she was. He could tell by her face. He had been right. The whole time he waited for her, she had been shooting up in her apartment.

Huffing he got out of the bed, pointing to the door. "Mimi, I think you should go. You promised me you'd try harder," he looked down shaking his head, "And no, nothing happened. You fell asleep and I brought you in here."

She let out a pant before kneeling to touch his face. "Roger, you have to understand." He cut her off.

"Oh, you think I don't understand?" he waited a minute. His voice rose in anger, "I have AIDS, Mimi. My girlfriend killed herself. I practically raped a barely legal girl in this bed. I was a terrible person. I thought you could change that. I guess I was wrong."

"I'll try harder," she cried. He only pointed to the door. He watched her grab her boots and walk out the door, looking back before she exited.

Mark emerged from his bed, scratching his head. "What happened?" Roger simply poured himself a cup of coffee and huffed.

"Oh, last night was the big night with Mimi right? How'd it go?" Mark asked leaning into the counter.

"It didn't go at all." He huffed, trying to laugh.

"You know, I had the same problem once with Maureen. Don't be-"

"Mark, that wasn't the problem," he laughed. It felt good to laugh after all the thoughts flying around in his head were starting to give him a headache, "And it wouldn't happen either. Rock star, sex God Roger Davis has never had a problem pleasuring the ladies." Mark slapped his arm and blushed.

"C'mon Rog, let's go to the Life and get some real coffee. We can talk there." Mark put his arm around his friend and they grabbed their jackets. Maybe Mark would understand.

An hour later, with Mark's help, Roger felt better. He went to Mimi's door and knocked quietly a few times. He waited. He knew she wouldn't be there. Just as he walked up the stairs, he heard the door open. She emerged, tears in her eyes. Her hair was thrown up in a messy bun.

"You better be down here to apologize Roger Davis," she let out a small smile before crossing her arms.

He couldn't say he was sorry, he wasn't. He wrapped his arms around her waist and put her head to his chest. He openly sobbed into her hair. He had never been so open with a woman before. She rubbed his back, half understanding, half confused. "Can we try last night again?" he slowly asked her, "Maybe I could come to the club tonight?"

"Roger, you know how they feel about having boyfriends there," she paused and moved her mouth to his ear, "You know, Mr. Davis, I do private dances too."

"Mimi, please. You haven't lived until you've seen my moves." They both laughed. He knew there would be troubled times ahead. She needed to get better. He needed to accept his disease. Together, maybe they could make things work.

"I might just have to take you up on that Davis," she smirked before curling back into his chest and holding him tightly.


	2. New Beginnings

I hope you guys are enjoying this. It'll start being less fluffy soon I promise! Also, The first chapter was a glimpse to the past. The first part of this chapter is telling what happened until the end of the movie and I pick up from there. **Review please** and telling me what you think or if I should keep going!

Disclaimer: I don't own Roger, Mimi or anyone else..

The next month was perfect for Roger and Mimi. From what everyone could tell, they were deeply in love. Things began to unravel when Mimi started using again in the summer. By the time fall came, they had split.

It had been over a month since Roger had seen her. He didn't want to see her, not like this. Angel was dead. Didn't that teach her anything? Maybe it should teach him something too.

It took him only three weeks in Santa Fe to realize it. He loved Mimi. He loved her whether or not she was on smack or a dancer at the Cat Scratch Club. He loved when she tickled him and even when she yelled at him. He loved making up with her and he loved when he held her during withdrawals. That was Mimi. His Mimi.

By the time he reached New York, things had changed. It was nearly Christmas by the time that Maureen and Joanne had found her in the park, half dead. He had been granted a second chance, and he wasn't willing to let it go this time.

4 months later

The sun shone through the windows and Roger's eyes flickered open. He was alone in his room. He could hear Mimi and Mark laughing in the living room. It was only then that he noticed the time. It was almost one in the afternoon.

"Well, look who's up," Mark laughed as Mimi rushed over to wrap her arms around his neck.

"We still doing dinner tonight with everyone?" Roger asked sitting on the couch with Mimi in his lap, "We haven't in a while. I was looking forward to it."

Mark nodded his head, "Me too. I've missed you since you got a real job." Roger laughed at the fact that he had emphasized the word _Real._

Roger had been playing small gigs at a local club and bartending on the week nights. Mimi and Mark were proud of him. Since Mimi had moved in and quit the club a few months earlier, they needed the extra cash.

Mimi played with his long blonde locks and pulled him into a kiss as he pulled her closer. "Oh please you two," Mark laughed, moving from his seat, "I'm going out to get some new footage. I'll see you at the Life at 6?" he paused, "Ok, well bye." They were obviously not paying attention to him.

A few hours later, Roger was getting out of the shower. "Hurry up," Mimi yelled, "We're late!"

He ran into the room in only a towel. "What?" he laughed, "I like to be clean." She couldn't help but smile at the fact that things had been going so great lately. They were both healthy, but they still were on borrowed him.

Roger threw on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and turned around to see Mimi standing in the doorway. "Wow, you look beautiful," he complimented her and blushed. She was only wearing jeans with her boots and a long sleeved green shirt, but to him she was stunning.

He took her hand and walked out of the loft. The spring air was cool, but refreshing. The door to the café opened to reveal Mark, Collins, and Maureen.

"Where's Jo?" Mimi asked while running over to the group.

"Work late," she shrugged, "Let's drink!"

"Maureen please, we're for dinner and" Mark was interrupted by Collins, "Beers on me."

Three hours later, Joanne was pulling Maureen off of the tables, Mark was giggling with himself in the corner, Roger and Mimi were in a booth, and Collins was talking with the waiter.

Collins went to sit at the table with the couple, who didn't stop kissing when he sat across from them. Finally, Roger pushed Mimi off of his lap as she wiped her mouth and got up to go to the bathroom.

Stumbling, she pushed the door open and Roger smiled, "She may be beautiful, but she's not a graceful drunk." Collins laughed with him as they clanked their beers together.

Mimi had been in the bathroom for ten minutes when Roger began to look at his watch. _Where is she_, he wondered while looking around the café.

Joanne, the only completely sober one in the group noticed the worry on Roger's face. "I was just going to the bathroom anyways, I'm sure she's just fixing her makeup. Don't worry Rog," she joked and disappeared into the bathroom.

Only a second later the bathroom door swung open, "Roger, Mark..Collins, Hurry, get in here quick." Roger's heart dropped in his stomach. Mark and Collins ran into the room. He suddenly couldn't make his legs move. Part of him didn't want to know what was on the other side of the door.


	3. Dark Dizzy MerryGoRound

Thanks for the reviews so far. I'm going on vacation for almost a week so I won't be able to update for a while. Enjoy! Hope you guys keep reading and let me know what you think.

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Roger breathed heavily as he slowly entered the bathroom. He saw Joanne rubbing Mimi's back and Collins holding hair back.

"I think she drank too much," Joanne whispered as she looked at a pale faced Roger, "She'll be fine as long as we get her home."

Roger walked over to her and touched her forehead. "She feels warm," he commented, "I'm going to bring her to bed. Mark, go get her bag and bring it back to the loft." He picked Mimi up into his arms.

"Roger," she murmured as her eyes fluttered back. Her arm wrapped around his neck and she curled into his strong chest. He noticed that she was shaking.

"Shh baby, it'll be ok. We're going to bed now." She nodded and he walked with her in his arms the four blocks back to the loft, stopping three times so she could throw up in the alley.

He opened the door and brought her to his room and set her on the bed. She was babbling and he couldn't help but smile as he brought the blanket to her chin. He was worried, and he hoped that it was just what she drank and not a virus.

Collapsing on the couch, he smiled as Mark came through the door and pointed to his shirt. Roger simply nodded. "She got sick again?" Mark asked, nearly squirming at the sight of the dried vomit covering Roger's chest. "Here, let's go get you cleaned up."

Roger himself had enough to drink and was so tired that he could barely stand up straight. Mark brought him into the bathroom and lifted his shirt over his head. "Mark, I can change myself. I am a big boy," Roger laughed.

"Here," Mark said throwing an old tee shirt in Roger's direction, "put this on. Go to bed and take your AZT. I'll have some aspirin on the counter for when you wake up tomorrow."

Roger smiled at Mark before disappearing into his room. He fell into bed and wrapped his arms around Mimi's small waist. He heard a sniffle as she rolled over and grabbed his face in her hands.

"Roger, you love me," she asked quietly, her eyes searching his face.

"Of course I do. Shh, go to sleep. You'll feel better in the morning," he answered groggily.

"I know Rog," she answered, "Mimi is tired too. Mimi likes your arms around her. Mimi wants you not be angry at her tomorrow. Mimi wants you to marry-" she drifted off while babbling nothings to herself. Roger's face was frozen. Had he imagined her saying that? It was all drunken rambling, right? It meant nothing. Would it be wrong to admit that he felt the same way but had been afraid to tell her?

Mimi awoke to find herself alone in bed. She saw Roger sitting at the table through the door with his head in his hands, nursing a cup of coffee.

"Hangover baby?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed his neck.

"Mmm, what about you?" he looked at her adoringly and quickly pecked her lips.

She took the bottle of pills from his hands and took a swig of his coffee to help them go down, "I feel horrible. Did I get sick last night?"

He laughed. "So I take it you don't remember me carrying you back from the Life or puking down Avenue B do you?" She laughed into her hands and her face turned red with embarrassment, "I guess that's a no then," he added.

Mimi took another sip of his coffee and swallowed her AZT as well. "Oh God Rog, I think I'm gonna be sick again." She threw her hands over her mouth and ran into the bathroom.

Mark emerged from his bedroom scratching his head. "Mimi still sick?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think she drank too much. I just hope that's all it is. She's been doing so much better." Mark nodded.

Mimi and Roger spent the day inside, under a blanket, watching old moves in the TV in Mark's room. They laughed and had a pillow fight. Everything seemed perfect, and Mimi was finally feeling better. Still, Roger couldn't stop thinking about what Mimi had said in bed the night before.


	4. Trusting Desire

A few days had gone by since the night at the Life Café. Roger had been distant during those few days after they had spent the day inside. Mimi could sense that something was bothering him, yet he denied it every time.

"Hey Roger," Mark said while they both sat on the couch, "are you ok? Mimi's worried about you. Are you feeling ok? Do you need to go to the doctors?"

Roger rolled his eyes, "No Mark, it's nothing like that. I-I.." he paused.

"You what Rog? Is everything ok?"

"IthinkimightwanttomaybeaskMimitomarrymebutimscared," He said quickly as he looked at Mark.

Mark shook his head, "Wait. Did you say you were going to ask Mimi to marry you?"

"Well I said I was thinking about it. What do you think she'd say?" Roger looked down and played with the ring on his finger.

"Well right now she thinks you're either sick or want to break up with her," he laughed, "She loves you Roger. Go for it. No Day but Today right? If you learned anything from Angel, it was that."

Roger nodded his head. He knew what he had to do. "The worst thing she can say is no, right? Will you come with me to pick out a ring? I can't afford much, but I want her to have one."

"Of course. Let's go right now." Roger's head shot up.

"Now?" Roger said surprised.

"Well…Let's just go," he patted Roger's back and put his coat on, "Are you coming? Let's do this." Mark put his arm around Roger's shoulders and led him out of the building.

There were so many different things to choose from. He had no idea that it would be so hard. He looked up and waved to the woman behind the counter, showing that he needed help.

"Hello sir, can I help you with something?" the woman said.

"Yes, I'm looking for a ring, but I'm being honest with you- I'm on a very limited budget miss."

"Please, call me Haylie," she said reaching out her hand, "and the future groom is?" she said looking between the two men.

"Roger, I, I'm Roger." Roger said taking her hand and shaking it, "As I said, I don't have very much money. Is there anything you could show us?"

Roger looked at the rings that Haylie had shown him that he could afford. He noticed Mark talking to her on the side. _Great,_ he thought, _maybe Mark will get more out of this than I will._

Roger was walking back to Mark, disappointed that he hadn't found anything he liked when he noticed a ring on the display shelf. He turned and looked at it, picturing it on Mimi's finger. It was perfect.

"Excuse me Haylie," he said motioning her over, "How much is this ring?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Davis, that ring is a few hundred more than you said you could spend, but it is beautiful."

Mark saw Roger's face drop. "Roger, here," he held out his wallet, "Take it. It's important, and you and Mimi deserve it."

"Mark I couldn't-" before Roger could finish, Mark already had his checkbook out.

"Don't worry about it Rog. You'll be able to pay me back after a few gigs. Really, I want you to have it." Roger simply nodded, tears welling up in his eyes as he pulled Mark into a hug. Mark handed Haylie the check and she placed the ring into a small blue velvet box. Roger held it tightly and put it into the pocket of his leather jacket.

Roger returned to find the apartment a mess. "Mimi," he called out, "You here?" There was no answer. She was probably downstairs. He and Mark had gone out for a drink and it was almost eleven. His room and the bathroom were a disaster. What was she looking for? He prayed to God that it wasn't a needle. She wouldn't.

He walked downstairs to find Mimi lying in her bed with an arm over her stomach. "Hey baby, you feeling alright?" he asked as he sat next to her small body.

"I think I'm coming down with something," she looked at him and took his hand, "I haven't felt good all day so I called out of work. I'm better now that you're here." She kissed his hand.

"Were you looking for something in the loft?" he asked.

Her head shot up when he asked the question, "No, I mean nothing. I Just wanted a sweatshirt. I found it." She grabbed her stomach and leaned into him.

"Have you been throwing up?" he said as he felt her forehead, "At least you don't have a fever."

"No, not yet. Just a little nausea and stomach pains." She shuddered when he placed his hand on her stomach and pulled away slightly.

"Alright, I guess I'll go then." He was confused. One minute she was telling Mark how much she loved him, drunkenly admitting that she wanted him to propose and the next she jolted at his touch.

Just as he disappeared from the room, he heard her whisper, "Please stay with me Roger."

He slipped off his jeans and went under the covers. He grabbed her face. "You know how much I love you right?"

"Oh Roger," she began to cry, "I love you." He ran his fingers through her hair and drew her into a kiss.

He hummed her a song as she held his shirt tightly. "Mimi, can I ask you something. You know how much I love you and I need to ask you this.."

"Mmm," she said quietly.

"Mimi, I know that we've had a rocky relationship but you made me alive again. I never thought I could feel this way, so complete. I love with all that I am and don't want to waste another day. Will you please marry me, Mimi. Please be with me forever."

He waited a moment for her to respond, "Mimi?" he asked brushing her hair away from her face. She had fallen asleep. He kissed her cheeked and pulled her closer.

He laughed quietly. _We'll consider that practice, _he thought as he drifted off to sleep.


	5. Leaving the Past Behind

Mimi rolled over and smiled. Roger was snoring lightly and she slapped his arm. "Mimi, what are you doing?" he glanced at the clock, "it's not even 9."

She laughed and played with his unruly blonde locks while pulling him into a kiss. "I feel much better now," she said smiling.

"I'm glad. You had me scared," Roger said getting up. He paused and turned back around, "I think I'll go upstairs and take a shower. Go for a walk in the park with me later?"

"Of course," Mimi said rolling back over, "I'll be up in a little while." As he walked out of the door, she couldn't help but smile. She noticed his leather jacket on the end of her bed, grabbed it and ran to the door to catch him. A small box fell out of the pocket and she turned to pick it up.

Her eyes welled up with tears as she opened the tiny blue box. She slid the ring onto her finger and held her arm out to admire the sparkling diamond. "Oh Roger, that was what you were talking about last night," she whispered to herself, "All's you have to do is ask."

Mimi came up to the loft with the ring still on her finger. Roger had just gotten out of the shower and was rummaging through his things, still only in a towel. She slid past Mark and Maureen and smiled.

She disappeared into his room and threw his jacket onto the bed. "Mimi, what-" she cut him off with a deep kiss, "What was that for?" he asked wondering why he deserved that.

"Because you're so cute Mr. Davis. Do you know that?" she asked, still pecking his lips lightly between words. She slipped her hand between their faces and showed him the ring on her finger, "Roger, all's you had to do was ask me. You already know the answer."

He sighed heavily, "Mimi I wanted to ask you myself." He smiled and took her chin in his hand, "Does that mean yes?" He raised an eyebrow.

She didn't answer, but instead jumped into his arms and hugged him. She squealed as he started to twirl her. "Mimi, I love you so much."

Maureen and Mark ran into the room, hearing the excitement from outside the bedroom, "What's all the commotion?" Mark asked knowingly.

"Well," Roger looked at Mimi, "Maureen, it looks like you won't be the only one to have an engagement party."

Maureen ran to hug Mimi, and in a sea of 'oh my gods' rambled about wedding plans and bridesmaids and color schemes.

"Maureen, this just happened, give it a minute to set in," Mimi laughed as Mark took Maureen by the arm to calm her down.

"Congratulations guys, you really deserve it," Mark smiled as Roger nodded to him.

Suddenly, Mimi fainted and Roger caught her before she hit the floor, "Mimi. Mimi, are you ok?" It took her a few seconds before she opened her eyes.

"Roger," she whispered.

"That's it Mimi. I'm taking you to the clinic. This has gone on long enough," Roger said scooping his fiancé into his arms.

"We're coming too," Maureen said grabbing her jacket.

"I'll run down and hail a cab," Mark added running down the stairs.

Roger waited outside of the waiting room holding Maureen's hand while Mark set a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sure she's fine Rog. She said it herself, she just has a cold. I'm sure she's been dancing too hard at work and she's just tired." Roger still wasn't convinced. He had noticed how she had been feeling off for over a week.

The virus was taking hold. He just couldn't understand why he had to lose her now. They were happy and in love. They fought still, but it made the making up that much sweeter.

Fifteen minutes had gone by, but to Roger, it had felt like hours. Mimi came through the door with her head down and arms draped by her sides.

Roger ran to her and wrapped his arms around her tightly as she buried her head into his neck. "What happened baby?" he asked, wiping her hair from her face.

"It's just a cold," she gave a less than convincing smile, "The doctor gave me some sample pills." She waved a packet of pills in his face. "See, I'm fine." She shoved the pills into her pocket.

"Let's get you home and to bed. You need your rest." She rolled her eyes at him, but couldn't help but laugh at the fact that Roger Davis was being responsible.

"Roger's not thinking about himself Mark. Get this on film," she said jabbing at his ribs with her elbow.

An hour later, Mimi was asleep in Roger's bed and he sat at the bedside holding her hand. "Please get better. You can't leave me now," he whispered.

She rolled over and smiled, "I told you, I'm not going anywhere. We have a wedding to plan in case you've forgotten." Her frail hand ran up and down his leg reassuringly.

"Mimi, just rest please. You're sick and you know it." Her face lit with anger and she pulled her arm from his thigh quickly.

"I told you Roger, I'm fine. How am I supposed to marry someone who doesn't believe me?" she yelled, "I'm glad that you care, but honestly, I feel fine. I'm just tired."

"You need to lay down Mimi. Where are your pills? They'll make you feel better," he spat, trying to sound sympathetic.

"That's it Roger, I'm going downstairs. I can't take this. I have a stomach ache and you're planning my funeral?" He looked shocked that she had gotten so angry. She jumped out of the bed and grabbed her boots from the floor.

"Mimi, don't leave. I'm sorry. You shouldn't get worked up. It's not going to make you better. Where are the pills that the doctor at the clinic gave you?" he reached into her coat pocket.

She slapped his hand away from her pocket, "Those are mine. Just leave me alone. I'm fine." The door to the loft slammed shut.

Roger stood behind the door, with a blank face, as Mark slowly walked up behind him.

"I don't know what's wrong with her," Roger said putting his head down, "I just can't lose her now."

"Roger, maybe it is just a cold. She's not a child and she doesn't need you to treat her like one."

"Oh so you're on her side now?" Roger looked at Mark with his arm's crossed.

"Why don't you go out to dinner tonight," he paused, "to celebrate."

"But she's sick Mark," he paused and thought for a moment, "Maybe I can make her dinner here? Get the whole place set up all nice and wear an apron and stuff?"

Mark held his stomach and laughed, "Now there's an image. Roger in an apron."

"Hey," he smiled, "I'm a truly romantic fellow."

"Oh god," Mark laughed, "Go apologize to her and then I'll help you cook. You can't do it all alone."

Three hours later, the loft was filled with smoke and the dusty table was draped with an old red sheet and had candles ontop of it.

"Shit," Roger muttered while lighting the candle, "I don't have anything to wear."

"Go look in my closet. I'm sure I have a dress shirt somewhere that will fit you that my Mom brought from Scarsdale," Mark yelled from the other side of the room.

Roger ran into the room and flung all of Mark's clothes out of the closet, which resembled a hole in the wall.

"Ahah," he said, triumphantly raising a tan button-up shirt in the air. He threw back the other clothes on the top shelf and a shoe box fell onto the floor.

He casually picked it up to put back, but his heart stopped when he saw a picture of April and himself taped to the top of it. What was it? And why did Mark have it?

He reluctantly ripped the duct tape from the sides of the box and slowly made his way to his own bedroom. Mark was so busy finishing up dinner that he didn't even notice what was in Roger's hands as he walked across the loft.

Roger sat with his legs crossed on his bed and peered into the box. It had old pictures and letters. His eyes filled with tears as he held a picture of the two of them up. It was taken before one his gigs, only a few weeks after they had met. It was before heroin.

He fingered his way to the bottom of the box and saw a large manila envelope. He picked it up and undid the clasp on the back. The first paper he pulled out was the note that April had left him in the bathroom that read 'We've got AIDS'.

He wiped a tear from his eye as he dug his hand back into the envelope. He found her test results from the clinic. There was only one other thing left, a small white folder.

He picked it up. He had a sudden look of confusion on his face. He had never seen this before, so why did Mark have it?

All's the folder said was 'Daniel', written in thick black marker. It was Mark's handwriting.

I wanna know if people are reading this and if I should continue or not. Any suggestions or Reviews? Thanks to those who keep reading. I've been on vacation for the past week so I haven't gotten a chapter out. Hope you guys liked the last two.


	6. My Life was Dust

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last two chapters. I'm glad you guys are liking and reading this. I've been really busy so I haven't had time to respond to all of you-but I really appreciate the reviews. I hope this chapter gets some things cleared up!

Chapter 6: My Life was Dust

Roger slowly lifted the small picture that was inside the folder. It took him a minute to realize what it was. The black background, with it's fuzzy white outline barely resembled a human figure. His left hand clenched in a fist.

There were two other pictures in the folder and a note to Mark in April's handwriting. He read it in his mind

_Mark,_

_You've always been there. I just never saw all you were until it was too late. I'd have been lost without you these past few months. Take care of Roger- I never meant to hurt him. I love you._

_April_

Before he could think, Roger flew off the bed and into the middle of the loft, with the letter in his hand.

"What the hell is this?" he shouted.

Mark squinted, adjusting his glasses before realizes what was in Roger's hand. The note was on April's flowered stationary, the same one that she would use to write letters home. He would recognize it anywhere.

"I-Roger, where did you find that?" He said walking over to Roger.

"When did you fuck her?" his voice grew in anger as he pushed the smaller man back. Mark looked confused at him, "Answer me Goddammit. I'd like to know when you fucked April."

Mark put a hand on his shoulder, "Roger, I didn't. Let me explain what you saw." He was trying to be sympathetic, but Roger would have none of it.

He grabbed Mark's shirt and pulled it, bringing his body closer, and dragged him into his bedroom. "What needs to be explained? It looks pretty clear to me," Roger yelled holding up the ultrasound picture, "Or do I need to explain to you how babies are made?"

"Roger, calm down. First of all, I didn't touch April. And also, did you look at the damn picture?" Mark pointed to the small white words at the top of the ultrasound. It read _Baby Boy Ericcson-Davis._

Roger fumbled on his words, "How? I mean, she never told me," he shook his head, "You knew? You've known this whole time?"

The two men sat on the edge of the bed, "Roger, you know how you were after she died. I didn't want to make you feel any guiltier than you already did. You were messed up and you know that."

"But a baby Mark," he looked down again reading the words and a small smiled escaped his lips but quickly faded, "We were in no state to raise a baby."

"She found out that she was pregnant and you were never here. You saw how close we had gotten those last two months, right?" Roger shook his head, "I'm sorry."

"Did you go with her for this?" he asked holding up another ultrasound picture.

Mark nodded, "On the third visit the doctor brought her in alone and she came out crying. She wouldn't tell me what happened. A week later," he looked down, "Well, you know what happened. I always assumed that was when she found out about the AIDS."

"I see," Roger wiped his brow and was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Mimi," he said quickly, shoving the box underneath his bed and drying his eyes on his sleeves.

Mark threw the tan shirt at him, "Put this on. I'll go let her in and put dinner out for you. I'm going out to film. We can talk later if you want to."

Roger slid the shirt on and nodded. "Go," he whispered.

"Are you gonna be ok?"

"I will."

Roger came out of the bedroom and Mimi walked over to him and kissed his cheek, "Hello Handsome," she whispered while pinching his side. Her hands moved lower and rubbed his back. She moved her hips into his and smiled up at him.

"Feeling better are we?" he asked dryly, without his usual sarcasm.

"You okay?" She immediately noticed the change in him. _Fuck_, he thought. She knew him too well.

He loved her more than he had loved April. He had loved April, but he did keep secrets from her. He was even tempted to cheat on her. He couldn't imagine being like that with Mimi.

"Fine," he said quickly, rubbing his nose.

"Dinner's ready guys," Mark chimed in, "Roger, you doing ok?"

Mimi looked at him, "So something is wrong."

Roger huffed, "I'm going out," he said quickly and slammed the door to the loft behind him.

Mimi flung her arms to her sides and crumbled against the wall. Her eyes wandered to Mark, who was still standing starring at the door.

"Mark, please tell me what's going on with him," she begged crying into her hands.

"Only if you tell me what's bothering you. You're not very good at keeping secrets either Mimi," she smiled and he leant out a hand to help her off the floor.

"Okay," she smiled as he put a hand on her shoulder, "Let's go sit down."

"Well," She started, "I haven't been feeling very good lately. I'm sure you've noticed or at least heard Roger whining about it. I was almost glad when he made me go to the clinic because I wouldn't have gone on my own."

Mark nodded, "I'm glad too. What happened when you went? Are you getting worse?"

"No. I'm actually pretty healthy considering all that's happened in the past few months. I nearly died five months ago Mark, and I think I forget that," she tried to laugh.

"Oh," he put his hand on her knee, "It's just me Mimi. You can tell me." Her eyes grew heavy. Mark made her feel so comfortable. It was no wonder that he was the only one who could ever get through to Roger.

She found herself embracing him, weeping into his shoulder, "I'm so glad you're here right now."

"It's ok Mimi. Just tell me what's the matter and we'll fix it. Do you not want to marry Roger? Is something wrong with you?"

She broke away from him and dried her eyes, "Mark, I've known for a while now. I've just been denying it. Then at the clinic," she paused, "I just wasn't ready to hear it out loud. That's why I snapped when we got back here. I was so confused, but I love him so much."

"I'm sorry Mimi, but I don't think I understand."

"I mean, all's I wanted to do was marry Roger. I had always pictured spending my last few years with him. We'd be happy and in love, but a baby never entered that picture."

Mark's eyes widened. Suddenly it was clear why Mimi was so upset.

"Are you ok with this?" he asked quietly, thinking back on his conversation with Roger earlier, "You know I'm here for both you. When are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. You know Roger and that means we have no idea what he'll think about this. What if he doesn't want to keep it? I'm too far along to," her head went back into her hands, "I couldn't do that anyways."

"Are you feeling ok?" Mimi was glad that she had Mark to confide in. Even though he was Roger's best friend, he would never tell him what they had talked about.

She nodded, "Well I was getting sick, but I think I'm doing better now."

"Just go to bed and we'll figure out this in the morning." She nodded and got up, looking back and smiling at him before going into Roger's room.

The phone rang and the answering machine picked up. SPPPEEAAAAKKK.

"Mark, it's Collins. I'm back in town early man, throw down the key. I found a present roaming the streets too. Shit, hurry up man." Mark threw the keys down to see Collins holding Roger up on the sidewalk.

By the time he had gotten upstairs, he was nearly holding him. He now resembled a small child, nodding in and out of consciousness. Mimi had heard the commotion and ran out of the bedroom in a tee shirt and shorts, rubbing her eyes.

"Mimi go back to bed," Mark commanded. She rushed to Roger's side. He reeked of alcohol, but he seemed to sober up when he saw her.

"Mimi, I missed you," he slurred running his hand through her hair.

"Ok lover boy, let's go get you cleaned up and into bed," Collins laughed. He remembered doing this for Roger years earlier when he'd go out after a gig.

"Take care of my fiancée," Roger told Mark as Collins helped him into the bathroom. Mimi tried to smile, but wondered what had made him so upset that he'd go out. It wasn't like him. She also remembered that Mark hadn't gotten a chance to talk to her about it.

"Woah, when did you guys get engaged?" Collins looked surprised and waved a hand in front of Mimi's dazed face.

"Only this morning, well last night," She smiled and went to Mark's side, resting her head on his shoulder.

The moment was broken by the sound of Roger's vomit hitting the bathroom floor. Mark and Collins ran to him and Collins shooed Mimi off to bed.

"Congratulations. I promise, we can take care of him. God knows we've done it before. Don't worry, we'll send him to bed."

An hour later Mimi felt him climb into bed, still in his jeans. His hair was wet. He smelt like soap, and she nuzzled her head in between his neck and chin, facing him.

"You ok?" she asked, running her finger over his chest.

"Fine," he again answered, "You know. I never did tell you what happened with April." Her eyes shot up at him. This all had to do with April.

"What happened babe?" She pretended to be understanding, but April had never been her soft spot. For some reason, she couldn't help but want to hate her. She never knew if it was because Roger loved her or because she had hurt him.

"One night we were laying out on the roof, tangled in sheets under the stars," Mimi closed her eyes pretending that he skipped over the last part of the sentence, "and we talked about leaving the city. We were gonna buy a house in the suburbs, like where Mark grew up, and we would have a mail box and a dog."

"That sounds nice," she said still pulling him closer.

"It did," He kissed her forehead. "We wanted two kids, a boy and a girl. She had always wanted a little girl named Madison. It never happened. Only a few months later, I couldn't do anything without being high. We had no money. I didn't care. I couldn't help but feel like I let her down. When she died, I just blamed myself. I never gave that to her."

"You couldn't have known," she said grabbing his face, "I know how much you loved her. I used to be jealous of her you know? I would never leave you though, and I'm here now." She couldn't believe she was about to say this and paused, "Roger, it's ok to miss her."

"I know," he smiled. It was a real smile. "And that's why I'm marrying you."

She wrapped her arms further around him and thought about raising a family with him for the first time. "What did you want to name him?"

"Huh," he asked, half distracted by her hands slipping into the back pocket of his jeans.

"You said what you wanted to name your daughter, but never the little boy," she laughed playing with the back of his jeans.

"Daniel," he said quietly, "Danny. I'd teach him how to play baseball in the front yard and ride a bike in the drive way and" he was cut off when Mimi's hands came to a stop and quickly lifted from his pocket.

In them was a small bag a white powder. "Roger," she said in disbelief, holding the bag in his face, "please tell me you didn't."


	7. Not Denying Emotion

Thanks for the reviews of the last two chapters. I know that the last few chapters have been pretty heavy, but I wanted to get the history and basis of the story out of the way. I promise that this story won't be a typical Mimi has a baby story. I hope you guys are getting some of your questions answered. If you have any requests, let me know. I'm open to anything. Anyways, I'm not too sure I like how this chapter turned out, but it's a lot lighter, which I had intended. Also, look for there to be more Mark storyline coming in the next chapter and Mark/Roger/Collins friendship.

Roger looked at Mimi and put his head down. "Mimi, I can't tell you why I have that."

She shook her head and sat up on the bed, "Roger, this isn't going to work if you can't be honest with me."

Her voice grew angrier, "Damn it Roger, I gave this stuff up for you." A tear rolled down her cheek.

He pulled her down into a hug and her head rested on his chest. "I thought about using it, but I just couldn't. I was so angry and confused," he tried to continue but Mimi interrupted him.

"Buy why? Why can't you just tell me?" She raised her head, tears in her eyes.

"I promise I'll tell you Mimi," he said rubbing her head gently. "Let's get rid of this." He took the powder from her hand and motioned her towards the bathroom.

They flushed it down the toilet. "You know, we're not done talking about this," Mimi said in a harsh tone, "I can't believe you of all people."

"I know," he whispered. He was disappointed in himself. He knew that he had messed up.

"I love you," she paused looking at the ring on her finger, "Just don't forget that."

"I know," he kissed her fore head, "I love you too."

They slid back into bed and Roger quickly drifted into a deep sleep, snoring lightly. Mimi thought back on her conversation with Mark early and felt her flat stomach. She had to tell him soon, before she started to show.

Something was really wrong with him though. She knew it had to do with April. She hated the distance that had been between them during the past week. Soon, she was lost in her thoughts and fell asleep.

When she left Roger in bed that morning, Mark and Collins already had coffee ready in the loft. Both men had devious smiles on their faces as she sat at the table.

"Mark, you told him," she said slapping the blonde's arm and shooting him a look.

"Well I told him the whole story after what happened with Roger last night," he shrugged.

"Congratulations Mommy," Collins added, "So when are you gonna tell him?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"You try telling Mr. Negativity this kind of news and you can let me know," she said back to him.

"Maureen and Joanne are on their way over, maybe you should go wake Roger up. We're going to the Life for lunch," Mark said sipping from his coffee mug.

Mimi put her head down and walked over to the sink where Mark was. She put a hand on his shoulder. He looked surprised.

"Mimi?"

"I just don't know how to tell him Mark," she began to cry.

"It'll be ok Mimi. I promise. We can do it together if you want."

"No, it's not that," Her voice got quiet, "He bought smack last night Mark. I'm worried. He won't talk to me."

"He wants to Mimi, but it's hard for him. Remember, you're keeping something from him too." He did have a point. She nodded. She trusted him. He hadn't used, and she understood how hard it was.

The gang gathered at the Life around their normal tables, laughing and casually drinking. Mimi conveniently ordered a water instead of a beer, and Roger hadn't seemed to notice.

Roger kissed her cheek and went to the bathroom. Once he disappeared Maureen spoke loudly, "Mimi, I brought you something." Mimi wiggled in her chair as Maureen grabbed a bag from underneath her chair.

"Maureen, what is it?" She reached into the bag and pulled out an odd looking contraption. Mimi winced at it for a moment. "A breast pump," she paused to look at Collins hiding his face, "You guys can't keep secrets can you?"

They all laughed a little while Mimi held the pump up looking at it with wide eyes. "Well," Maureen started, "I wanted to be the first to give you a present."

"Maureen," she reached into the bag, "ooh pacifiers and oh my god look at the bib."  
It read _I love my Daddy. _It was the first time that Mimi actually seemed happy about having a baby. Ironically, it was at that moment that it hit her that she still had HIV. She couldn't breast feed a baby.

"Thank you," she said leaning over to hug Maureen. Collins and Mark had pouts on as Mimi glared at them. "I forgive you boys, but please let me tell Roger on my own." They smiled, and Roger back to the table.

They had all forgotten that the breast pump was still set in the middle of the table. Roger picked it up and examined it. "What the hell is this?" he laughed holding it and turning it in the air.

"Roger, that's just one of Maureen and Joanne's toys," Mimi said quickly. He threw it down on the table and Maureen quickly scooped it up.

"I don't want to know," he said putting a hand on his head.

"You feeling ok Rog?" Mimi asked rubbing his arm.

"Yea, just a headache that's all. I think I need an aspirin or something."

"I have some in my bag," Mimi said as she threw her bag in his lap. He rummaged through it, finally picking out her makeup bag. It was the medicine that she had gotten from the clinic. It wasn't aspirin, but it couldn't hurt.

"No, Roger, that's not" Mimi laughed out loud as Roger swallowed two pills from the bottle. Mark joined Mimi in her laughter. It was prenatal vitamins.

"What?" he asked raising an eyebrow and zipping the bag back shut. When he went to hang the bag on the back of her chair, a pacifier fell out.

Maureen quickly picked it up and shoved it into his mouth. "And this, Roger, is for you," she reacted quickly, "Stop being such a baby." She giggled to herself, proud that she had come up with something so fast.

"You guys are even weirder than usual today," he said shrugging and taking a bite of his hamburger. He threw the pacifier at Maureen.

The others snickered to themselves. Mimi wondered how he could be so naïve. It was almost a relief that Roger was so oblivious. She continued eating her salad and Roger's hand slid and rested on her knee.

"Love you baby," he said leaning over to give her a light kiss. Him saying the word sent shivers down her spine.

"Mmm, what was that for?" she asked innocently.

"For loving me so much," he laughed, "And dealing with lazy, stubborn ass."

"But I love that ass," she laughed pinching him.

Roger placed a twenty dollar bill down on the table as they got up. He had been making more money since he had been bartending and playing a gig or two a week. Also, Mimi had gotten a job as a dance teacher in a small studio, with Benny's help.

The group got up and Roger put an arm around Mimi's waist, resting on her hip. As his fingers grazed her stomach she got butterflies. She smiled up at him, and pulled her closer.

It had started to rain by the time they had left the Life. Roger grabbed Mimi and ran with her in his arms back to the Loft. Mark was fretting that his camera was getting wet. Maureen screamed that her hair was frizzing, and Joanne followed her with an umbrella. Collins seemed to ignore the rain and walked laughing casually behind them.

They collapsed in the middle of the loft, soaking wet and laughing. Mimi rang out her shirt over Roger's head. He swatted her away and they walked hand in hand into the bedroom. "We should get you out of those wet clothes," he whispered into her ear before shutting the door. The others watched for a moment and continued to pose and laugh for Mark as he filmed them in their soaking clothes.

Roger threw his wet shirt at Mimi and it landed on her head. She slid out of her skirt and put on a pair of his sweatpants. "Comfy?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

He kissed her neck, holding onto her wet shirt. "Roger, everyone's right outside." She tried not to show him her smile.

She turned to him, giving into his kiss as he trailed down her front. "Roger stop," she giggled. She tightened when his lips met her stomach.

"What?" he looked up at her. He was on his knees, his hands planted on her hips. "We're all alone."

"Actually," she took a deep breath, "We're not exactly alone."

"Come again?" he said seductively, moving up from his knees, meeting her eyes.

"There's three of us here." She couldn't believe that she actually had said it. She waited a minute for a reaction.

"Even if Maureen and Joanne are gone, Mark's used to this by now," she said rubbing her back.

"Come on Roger. That's not what I mean," she said running her hands through his hair which was now curly from the rain. He gave her a confused look as he again moved his lips to her neck. "Roger," she said, somewhat annoyed, "Did you hear me? I said there are three of us in the room."

"Not from what I can see," he said going over to lock the door. She had to give him credit for his persistence. Normally, she would have already given into him. He made his way back over to her.

She took his hand in her own and placed it on her stomach, "See," she said searching his eyes. He focused on her brown eyes, the ones that had brought him back to life. "Roger, three of us."

His eyes looked back and forth from her stomach to her face. His faced scrunched up as if he was concentrating. "I-uhh- Mimi?" _Thud._

The others were sitting around the couch in the loft when they heard a loud thump from the bedroom.

Collins let out a hearty laugh. "Either things got kinky in there or Roger found out." Just then Mimi opened the door to the bedroom, exposing Roger who had fainted onto the floor, still shirtless.

She shrugged, "He took it better than I thought."


	8. The Heart Yearns

Maureen and Joanne had left the loft, leaving only Mark, Mimi and Collins sitting in silence waiting for Roger to wake up and come out of the bedroom. The two men watched as Mimi got up and made her way to the fire escape, with a blanket caped around her.

She and Roger had placed an old sofa cushion that they had found in the street out there a few weeks ago, and Mimi sat on it, leaning against the building. She felt her eyes growing heavy when she felt someone curl up against her. She knew it was Roger without opening her eyes.

He took her hand in his and rested his head on her lap, resting their hands on his chest. She felt it rise and fall and smiled gently, her eyes still shut. He spoke quietly, "I don't want to be like him." He paused. She could feel him take a deep breath. "I never knew I was loved. I never thought I'd have that chance."

Mimi leaned down and kissed him lightly. "I don't know what will happen Rog," she was silenced when he put a finger to her lips.

"We'll deal with it when it happens. Sick or healthy, this baby will be loved." She hadn't expected Roger to react this way. His eyes glazed with tears, and he spoke again, "You know, I never would have gone through with it."

She looked puzzled, "Gone through with what?"

"The smack," he said sitting up and grabbing her face, "I have too much to live for." Pulling her into a tight embrace, he noticed Mark and Collins giddily smiling, peering out the window.

"Roger," she placed a firm kiss on his lips, "I don't know how we'll make this work, but we're really gonna do this, aren't we?"

He smiled, "I never imagined I'd get married, never mind have a family. Right now, I couldn't want anything else." He said smiling, pulling her up from the old cushion.

He laughed. "What?" she asked fluffing his long hair.

"I was just thinking how much our lives have changed. It's funny," he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

They crouched back through the window. "So, we're having a baby?" Collins asked grinning widely.

"So, wait," Roger paused to look back at Mimi, "everyone knew but me?"

She looked guilty and pouted at him, "In my defense Roger, you don't take change very well." He laughed and tickled her side, his hand landing on her lower stomach and looking up at her.

"Me and Collins are making you guys dinner," Mark added. The two men retreated to the kitchen. Roger rushed over to the phone.

"Who are you calling?" Mimi asked. All of their friends, other than Benny, knew about the baby.

"Someone, I'll be right there." She raised an eyebrow at him and sat on the couch. He came over to her in only a minute.

"So," he said intertwining their hands and smirking, "When do I get to meet Roger, Jr?"

"Oh, don't you start that," she slapped his stomach. "And the answer to your question is November 13th."

"Mimi, it's already June. That's soon. I should probably get another job, right? Babies cost money. We need a crib, and diapers. We have so much to plan." She was laying in between his legs with her head resting on his chest.

"Roger, let's just enjoy this right now," she said quietly resting her head under his chin. "First, I just want to marry you and worry about keeping this baby healthy. I can't keep teaching dance classes, so Collins said he'll find me a job filing papers or working in the NYU library. He offered to move back in. Everyone wants to help us. Mark's being himself, nervous and worrying about heat and money and us being sick, but this baby will never be alone."

"Well thanks for filling everyone in," he laughed, "I'm glad someone felt so compelled to tell me." He playfully rolled his eyes.

Roger and Mimi had fallen asleep on the couch. When they awoke, the loft was lit with candles and there were four places set at the table.

"Mark," Roger said walking over and pushing one of the settings to the side, "You'll need to add another one."

"Why Rog?" he asked, just as there was a knock on the door. Roger rushed over and opened the door, revealing a pretty brunette with piercing amber eyes.

"Well, hello miss," Roger said, escorting her into the loft.

"Haylie?" Mark asked, holding out his hand, "Why are you here?"

"Well, isn't that a nice way to greet your guest Mr. Cohen? I thought I'd invite Haylie to join us for dinner." Mimi still was standing with her arms crossed, looking at Roger and waiting for him to explain.

"Well, come sit down Haylie," Mark pulled out the chair as Collins finished setting her place.

The dinner felt like they all been friends. Roger and Collins managed to make everything sound dirty, Mimi talked about wedding plans, and Mark joked about being an uncle. Roger and Mark told the others how they met Haylie that day at the jewelry store. Mimi and Haylie seemed to hit it off right away. Mark touched her arm several times throughout the meal. Roger watched as Mark smiled. It had been a long time since he had anyone to smile about.

The dinner ended and Roger did the dishes, while Mark and Haylie walked out onto the fire escape with two cups of coffee.

"They're a little much to handle all at once," Mark laughed.

"No, I like them," she smiled and leaned into him. By his facial expression, she could tell that he was surprised when her head rested on his shoulder.

The surprise turned into a smile and he wrapped an arm around her. She looked up to him, "Can we do this alone sometime?"

"We are alone," he laughed.

"No," she touched his face, "I meant dinner."

"Of course," he said leaning in and placing a quick peck on her lips.

Roger peered through the window. Mimi walked over and wrapped her arms around him, "Let them have their time. Let's go to bed," she smiled seductively at him as he led her to the bedroom.

She put on a big tee shirt and fell into bed, bringing the covers up to her neck and curling into a ball.

"What?" she asked when he stood over her pouting.

"Well?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Baby, not tonight," she smirked, "I'm tired."

"You can't just tease me like that," he said leaning down, breathing in her hair.

"But I like getting you all worked up. You're cute when you squirm." She laughed and sat up in bed.

"Please?" he asked, nuzzling his head into her neck, "I can't go nine whole months without it. I don't know what I'll do."

"Actually five months," she laughed, but was cut off by his kiss. He kissed her with more passion than he ever had before.

"Well, I can't say no to that now can I?" she said wrapping an arm around his back and pulling him down onto the mattress.

"Nope," he smirked, putting a hand on her stomach. "Do you think we're hurting the baby?" Mimi looked down and back up at Roger. He had a look of concern on his face.

"We're celebrating," he hissed into his ear, "Plus, you've been a patient boy all week."

"Mmm," he moaned as she kissed his neck.

"And by the looks of things," she laughed and pulled away for a second, "you're already all hot and bothered. It would just be mean of me to stop now." His face turned red, but he quickly pulled her down into another kiss.

He bit her bottom lip as she moaned his name. He peeled the loose tee shirt off of her body and kissed her neck and shoulders. She wrapped her legs around his waist as his lips trailed down her collar bone.

Mimi giggled as his lips tickled down her front and stopped at her stomach, which he took care in kissing. She sat up to unbutton his jeans and slide them down. He kicked them to the floor, and moved back to pull her into another kiss.

When they made love that night, it was different. It was passionate and slow. Roger wasn't rough, but gentle and loving. His steady rhythm made Mimi hungry for his touch and she couldn't get enough of him. They laid in the afterglow, getting lost in each other's eyes. She rolled on top him and played with his hair. He was sweeter and more understanding. He took her hands and kissed them. She put her head onto his bare chest, playfully patting it.

"Love you," she whispered, fingering his chest. She looked up to see his eyes already shut, peacefully sleeping. She smiled and looked at the ring on her finger.

"Just the three of us," he whispered, pulling her head back down onto his chest.

"I thought you were sleeping," she kissed him and nuzzled her body into his, "Mmmm.." she agreed as she closed her eyes and he pulled her in closer.

On the fire escape, Mark kissed Haylie again, holding her tightly. She hadn't expected him to be such a good kisser, which he was. She leaned into him and pulled him closer. He led her inside, her head never leaving his shoulder, and into his bedroom.

Thank you so much for all the reviews on the past few chapters. They really make me keep writing! I love hearing what you guys all think. I've been really busy with work so I don't know when I'll get another one out. Hope this holds you over.


	9. The Only One to Survive

Thanks for reading and the continued reviews. Again, I don't own anything RENT, but I do own Haylie. The song in this chapter is _I Will Survive_ sung by Gloria Gaynor. Hope you like it! Keep reading and the reviews coming! I love reading them and knowing what you guys are thinking.

Mimi fiercely shook Roger. He jumped up, "What's wrong?" he asked franticly while grabbing his watch from the floor to look at the time.

"Mimi, its 7:30. Why the hell are you up?"

She laughed, "I had to pee." She shook her head, "But never mind that. You'll never guess what I just saw."

"What, the sunrise?" he joked.

"No," she slapped him, "Haylie leaving the loft."

Roger threw his head back in laughter and ran to the couch where he picked up Mark's camera. Mimi laughed as he fiddled with it, holding it upside down and mumbling obscenities as he attempted to turn it on.

"Yessss," he said before rushing into Mark's room, practically breaking the door open.

"Zoom in on Mark Cohen," Roger directed, "who has just gotten laid for the first time in, uh, a very long time. Tell the kids at home about it Mark."

Roger jumped onto the bed, thrusting the camera in Mark's face. "Get that thing out of my face Roger and put it down before you break it. It might also help to take the lens cover off."

"Oh," Roger laughed, "I did that on purpose. Wouldn't want to scare the viewers."

"Get out," Mark joked, pushing Roger off the bed. Mimi stood in the door way, trying to cover her smile.

"I'll let you sleep. Little Marky's had a long night," Roger mocked before shutting the door behind him.

Three hours later, Mark came out of the bedroom and went straight into the bathroom. Roger and Mimi were getting ready for their first doctor's appointment at the clinic.

Mark walked over and poured himself a cup of coffee. Roger patted him on the back. "So, good night?"

"Yeah," Mark smiled, "It was a good night." He emphasized and dragged out the _good._

They were interrupted when Mimi came running out of the bedroom, throwing her arms in the air. "Roger, we're late already."

"Sorry, Mark, we'll continue this later. Mimi calls," he winked and ran out the door with his jacket still in his hands.

Mimi sat on the exam table. "I'm nervous Roger," she admitted. He rubbed her arm reassuringly.

"Everything will be fine. Let's just see what the doctor says." He stroked her hair as the doctor walked in.

The next half hour seemed like a blur to Roger, as he saw the tiny white figure on the computer screen. He could hear the heartbeat. He looked at Mimi beaming, having no idea what he was feeling. Suddenly, he thought about April and how he hadn't been her for this.

Mimi was exhausted. The doctors had told her that they wouldn't be able to tell if the baby had contracted HIV until nearly a year after it was born. They had decided together that they didn't want to know the sex, even though the doctor said she could tell.

Roger, of course, assumed that this meant it was a boy. He joked that it "took after him".

When they got back to the loft, Mimi went downstairs to her old apartment to pack up the last of her things, seeing that she would be permanently moving into the loft.

Roger sat on the sofa and picked at the duct tape holding it together, his head down. "Hey Rog," Mark walked over to his friend, "How'd it go?"

"As good as can be expected at this point. We won't know anything until after it's born though." Roger put his elbows onto his knees and his head into his hands.

"You ok? It's a lot to take in I bet."

Roger's head shot up and he began to pace. "Fuck Mark, I don't think I can do this."

Mark went to put his hand on Roger's shoulder, "I don't think you have much of a choice." He laughed, but Roger pulled away quickly.

"I can't be somebody's parent," his hand crashed into the wall, "What happens when I die Mark? This kid will hate its parents, just like I hated mine. And some father I am, sitting there the whole time thinking about fucken April."

The anger in his voice scared Mark. It was a side of Roger that he hadn't seen in over a year. His hands clenched in fists, as he paced the length of the loft, throwing and punching anything in his path.

"I told you Rog, I'll be here." Roger paced back and forth, throwing the pillow that was on the couch at the wall.

"Mimi's only been clean for a few months. What happens if she goes back? This was a mistake." He threw the already broken lamp into the wall. Mark shuttered as the glass shattered on the floor.

"Calm down," Mark said as the musician crumbled against the wall, "It'll all be ok."

Roger tried to hold back his tears, "What if she's not ok Mark? What if her body can't take it?"

"I'm sure she's worried about the same thing. Let's clean this mess up before Mimi gets here." The two men stood up and picked up the pieces of the broken lamp.

"So," Roger started still tremblilng, "Things working out with Haylie?"

"We're going out tonight," Mark said quickly, "I like her a lot."

"Good," Roger put his arm around his friend's back, "Get out while you can before you need to change diapers." Mark didn't laugh back, but instead punched Roger lightly in the stomach.

Mimi walked in with two boxes, "Will you boys help me? I'm going to rest." She put her hands on her hips and marched into the bedroom, dropping the boxes in front of Roger. .

"Let the hormones begin," Roger spat putting his hand to his forehead. Mark laughed before Roger's arm hit his head, "Don't forget you live here too."

Roger picked up the boxes and slowly opened the bedroom door. He put the boxes down next to the bed and slid next to Mimi, snaking his arms around her. She was already asleep. He tried to erase from his mind the fact that this may be a very long, difficult pregnancy.

He knew nothing about babies. He didn't know about formula or potty training. He didn't know about colic. He certainly didn't know about pregnancy. He did know, however, that he loved Mimi. He knew how much this baby meant to her. As he stroked her shoulder and slowly drifted to sleep, he started to realize how much the baby meant to him.

"Roger. Roger," he heard pressing his eye lids shut, "Wake up." Mark. Good old Mark.

"What time is it?" Roger asked groggily, slipping out of bed and putting the blanket back over Mimi.

"God, you've been like a cat. All's you do is nap." Mark joked as they shut the door to the bedroom. "Maureen and Joanne just called. They want us to meet them at the Life Café in an hour. They have news too."

"Let's hope they're not having a baby too," Roger laughed, picking up his guitar and tuning it quietly.

Roger sat looking out the window, perched on the sill. He plucked out an unfamiliar tune, which caused Mark to smile. Mimi came out of the bedroom and laid on the couch, taking in Roger's tune.

Mark walked over to Mimi, "So, the doctor's went well?"

She smiled up at him, "Everything looks good right now. They're putting me on some new meds and keeping me on my AZT. It's basically experimental, but they're hopeful." She shrugged.

"We're going to the Life Café for dinner at seven." Mark said, retreating to the corner to edit his film from the day before.

Roger set his guitar down, "I'm gonna go shower baby," he said leaning over to kiss Mimi.

"Good idea, you smell," she joked as he peeled his tee shirt off and threw it at her before going into the bathroom.

Mark shot him a look, "Would you mind keeping your clothes on," he said.

The bathroom door creaked open and Roger stuck his head out and added, "Oh, Maureen and Joanne have big news too."

She laughed at him as the door swung shut again. She went in the bedroom to change. Mark was getting anxious by 6:45 and Roger was just getting started on his hair. He heard the blow dryer turn on, slightly laughing that his roommate styled his hair, and ran into the bathroom.

"No time for that pretty boy, we're gonna be late." Mark frantically screamed, pulling Roger out of the bathroom. Mimi stood at the table laughing at the scene.

Minutes later, Roger emerged from the bedroom, his hair still wet at the tips.

The group sat around the table at the Life Café, a scene that was strikingly familiar to the one the week before. The group ordered drinks, with the exception of Mimi, and ate their dinner.

As usual, Roger and Collins had already had about five rounds of beer each and Mark was feeling giddy after two glasses of wine. He leaned over and kissed Haylie's neck, but she shooed him away giggling.

Joanne hit her glass with her fork and spoke, "Today I found out that I got partner at a law firm, and I start next week" she paused to rub Maureen's shoulder. The group clapped and cheered as Joanne hushed them by clanking her glass again, "In Seattle."

The cheering stopped and each person had a confused look on their face. Maureen to a big sip from her wine and gulped before adding, "And I'm going with her." She quickly kissed Joanne and she wrapped an arm around her waist.

"But, but," Mimi said, a tear rolling down her cheek, "you won't be here for the baby. I'll miss you guys so much. You're my family." Roger pointed at her and laughed at the fact that she was crying. She gave him a less than pleased look before rightfully slapping his forehead. He rubbed it and gave her a pout.

The silence continued. Maureen and Joanne sat back down, picking their food with their forks, waiting for someone to break the deafening silence that had come over the room.

"Come on guys," Collins laughed, "It's only a plane ride away. We love you guys and we're all really excited for you aren't we?" He gestured for the rest of the group to join him in his congratulations.

"Congratulations," Mark added, his arm around Haylie, who had been very quiet all night.

Collins rose from his chair and threw his arms around Joanne, "Gonna miss you fools." He turned to Maureen, "Come here," he caught her in a giant hug.

"You've been like a big brother to me since I moved here. What am I gonna do without you around?" Maureen pulled the big man into a tighter hug.

The group retreated back to their seats and Maureen turned her face to wipe a tear from her eye. "Where'd Roger go?" she asked before sitting back down. She turned to see Roger standing on the bar, microphone in hand.

"Maureen, Maureen, Maureen," he started, twirling the mic in his hands, "I'll tell you what you guys will do without us." He paused, and nodded to the bartender.

He began to sing, his mic in one hand and a beer bottle in the other. He shook his butt in their direction and strutted back and forth on the counter.

"_At first I was afraid, I was petrified,"_ he started. Mimi burst out laughing, along with Collins who was now swaying to Roger's voice.

"_Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with good bye? You think I'd crumble. You think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not I. I will survive," _Roger sang, stumbling over his own words.

Despite the looks from annoyed customers, Roger's song continued. The group laughed as he shimmied up and down the bar, taking swigs from his bottle occasionally. Suddenly, the somber atmosphere diminished and they were all dancing around the table, admiring Roger's less than graceful dancing. By the fifth verse of "_I Will Survive"_ Mimi tugged him off the counter.

"Come on, Mr. Rock Star, it's time to go home," Mimi said taking the beer bottle away and tugging at his arm.

"Baby, be quiet," she said hushing her, "I wasn't done my song yet."

She kissed him to silence him. "Wooh," she said leading him out the door, "I'd get drunk just smelling you." They both laughed. Mimi put her arm around a pleasantly drunk Roger. She smiled, thinking back on how cute he had been up on the bar, making Maureen's tears disappear, shaking his hips, flipping his long hair, swinging the mic from its cord.

Roger flopped onto the couch when they got back to the loft. "Night baby," Mimi whispered to him, "Thanks for making everyone feel a little better tonight." She touched his hair and smiled before walking back to the bedroom.

"Does that mean you love me?" Roger chimed from the tattered couch. His lips curled into a devilish smile.

She ran back over to him, leaning over the back of the couch. He reached his arm out and placed it on her stomach, which he swore had grown since yesterday. "Maybe," she joked.

"Oh come on, you know you love me." He laughed, looking around to notice that they were alone. Did Mark leave with Haylie? Where was Collins?

"Something like that," she laughed, pulling him up and bringing him to bed.

He collapsed into the bed and kissed Mimi's forehead. "I guess I just might love you guys too." It took Mimi a minute to realize what he was talking about. She smiled when she realized he meant the baby.

"We both agree that the feeling's mutual," she laughed, ruffling his hair, "Come on, go to sleep. You've had a long night, especially after your performance."

"Oh admit it, you loved it. I was really good," he laughed. He heard the loft door open and the sound of staggering footsteps giggling their way through the loft.

"Sounds like Mark's home," she said, "And by the way, I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time. Thank you, Daddy." She smiled up at him, only to see him flash her a fake pout in disappointment that she hadn't taken him seriously. She loved when he was so proud of himself.

Then he thought about what she had called him. _Daddy. _Especially after his HIV diagnosis, he never thought he'd hear that word.He pulled her closer, remembering that in a little more than five months their lives would be completely changed. In five months, he'd be married with a baby. Earlier that day, the thought scared him more than anything. Hell, it still scared him. He remembered first meeting Mimi, never anticipating how quickly he'd be able to fall in love with her. Suddenly, for the first time, Roger Davis felt himself get a little excited for the uncertainty and let his doubt slip away.

That was a pretty long chapter. Also, I'm not exactly sure about HIV positive mothers, so I'm keeping Mimi's meds pretty general and I'm not going into too much detail about that. As I said before, your reviews are loved and appreciated!


	10. Her Name was April

They stood there still until they could no longer see their cab as it drove away. Mimi pressed her face into Roger's chest, as if looking at the car drive away would hurt her. Mark hadn't expected that Maureen and Joanne would actually leave.

"And then there were four," Collins laughed, putting an arm around Mark.

"Five, actually," Benny chimed in as he walked over to the group.

"Benny, what are you doing here?" Mimi asked, tears still streaming down her face.

"Roger called me. Congratulations about the baby." Benny acknowledged Roger with a nod and a smile. "I came by to see if there was anything I could do to help." Benny smiled. They hadn't seen much of him since New Years, but they had all realized that he had changed.

"No," Roger said, patting him on the back, "Thanks." It was obvious to everyone watching that the two had made their peace.

Mimi smiled at Roger as the group, including Benny, made their way up the stairs of the loft.

3 weeks later

"Merry Christmas, bitches" Collins said sliding the door to the loft open, a basinet hoisted over his shoulders.

"I wish," Mimi laughed, dabbing herself with a wet towel, "this heat is killing me." They had made it to July with almost no problems, aside from the unbearable heat.

Mimi's eyes widen at the sight of the white basinet. "Where'd you get the money for that?" She asked. He laughed back at her. "I don't want to know do I?"

Collins set down the cradle and walked over to hug Mimi. "How you doing?" he asked.

Collins had moved into the loft nearly a month before to help pay the rent and to be there when the baby was born. Mark and Haylie were going on a month strong and although Haylie hadn't officially moved in, she spent most of her time at the loft.

Roger emerged from the bedroom, clad in only boxers and a sleeveless tank top, covered in light yellow paint. He walked over to Mimi, placing a hand on the cradle and raising his eyebrow at Collins.

"How's the room coming," Mimi asked kissing him. She giggled and picked the dried paint away from his face. He took his nose, covered in paint, and smeared a yellow streak across her face.

"Go take a shower," Mimi laughed, wiping the sweat away from his forehead. He smiled down at her, and watched her as she made her way back to the couch and placed a hand on her growing stomach.

Roger emerged from the bathroom, "Mimi, go take a shower. You'll cool off," he said joining her on the couch. "I have to work tonight, but Mark will be here if you need anything."

"Hey Mark, is Haylie coming over tonight?" Mimi asked winking at him.

"No," he said sarcasticly, "She's working tonight."

"Ok," she said quietly, "I'll probably just rest. I'm tired." They were both surprised as to how well the pregnancy was going so far, and it almost made them forget about the disease inside of them.

"Hey guys," Mark said walking into the loft, camera in hand. "Mimi, what about we watch a movie tonight? I'll make lemonade and we can get some ice cream." Mark saw Mimi's eyes brighten at the mention of ice cream.

"Sounds good," Mimi smiled as Roger came out of the bedroom, freshly dressed.

Roger kissed Mimi goodbye and knelt down to kiss the skin of her stomach that was poking out of her tank top. "Love you," he mouthed as he left for work.

"Mark, I think I'll go lay down. This heat's really taking a lot of out me," Mimi breathed in a heavy sigh, making her way to her and Roger's room.

She smiled at the newly painted walls and the growing pile of baby apparel in the corner. She set herself on the bed and closed her eyes. She was already covered in a layer of sweat and knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep.

Before Maureen and Joanne had left, they had given her several books about pregnancy and babies, so Mimi reached under the bed to grab the box that she had put them in. She picked up the box and soon realized it wasn't the right one. She wouldn't have thought twice about it, except the picture on the cover made her glance twice.

She squinted and recognized the man as Roger. It was a Roger she didn't know. His hair was spiked and bleached. He had a thick layer of eyeliner around his eyes, but the smile was the same. The girl on the side of him had wispy auburn hair and dark eyes. She didn't recognize the girl, but she knew her. It was April.

Mimi cautiously opened the box. She gasped when she saw a small black and white photo on the top of the other papers and letters. It looked strikingly familiar to the one that was on their refrigerator. Mimi carefully read the top of the picture and put her head down.

She did her best to hold her tears in. She repeated 'I will not cry, I will not cry' over and over in her head as she surveyed the pictures. She slowly walked out of the bedroom. Mark's eyes lifted from his projector. He saw the pain in her eyes before she lowered her head.

"You ok?" he asked, watching the young girl in front of him sit on the couch.

"Mark, does Roger…" she paused and sniffled, "does he, you know, did he and April?"

Mark then saw the ultrasound pictures in her hand, and he immediately knew what she was asking. He knew that Roger hadn't told her about the baby yet, but he also didn't think he'd be so careless to leave the old shoebox hanging around.

"No," he wiped his nose before continuing, "Roger didn't even know that she was pregnant until a month ago."

She looked at him, confusion in her eyes, "but a month ago I told him about the baby." It suddenly occurred to her. The night that he had gotten so upset, and gone out to the bar was the night he found out. That's why he had brought up April and talked about family. At the time, he had no clue that Mimi was pregnant. "So that night that you and Collins," she was started but was interrupted by Mark.

"Yeah, that's when he found out. And Mimi, he didn't take it very well, especially when he found out that I knew all this time." Mark touched Mimi's shoulder as she began to whimper.

"Does everybody else know?" She whispered, lifting herself from her seat and placing her hand on her stomach. He shook his head. He watched her make her way to the doorway of the bedroom, but she suddenly turned back around.

"Mark," she said weakly, "Do you have any old film of her?"

Mark nodded. "After she died, we got rid of it all. Roger would sit there for hours and watch the same reels over and over. Finally, Collins and I decided that it'd be best just to throw them away," Mimi's face dropped, "But I kept one for myself."

Mark smiled and put his arm around Mimi. "Don't you dare tell Roger I showed you this." Mimi sat in front of the projector as Mark rummaged through a pile of film canisters. The projector started.

The image of Roger on stage, microphone pushed against his lips, and a sweet rock melody coming from his mouth shown on the wall of the loft. Mimi barely recognized this man as the man she was about to marry.

Mark watched Mimi tentatively as the man in the film retreated from the stage and met Maureen and the red haired girl at a table in the back of the club. He saw Mimi wince when Roger pulled her into a long, drawn out kiss. "Sorry," Mark said, getting up to stop the film.

"No, I want to see it." Mimi motioned for him to refrain from stopping the film.

He sat back down next to Mimi and put his hand back on her knee. In the film, April was standing by the table, with a drink in her hand, laughing and throwing her head back. Mimi realized that she seemed like someone she would have been friends with.

She and Maureen grabbed Roger from his seat and started dancing around him. He was laughing. April put her hand on his chest and pressed up against him, as if she was teasing him.

Mimi's eyes were glued to the blonde man on the wall. He smiled and touched her sides as April teased him with her fingers and the filmmaker narrated the scene. Maureen and April danced together as Roger sat back at the table, and a younger Benny sat beside him.

The two men clanked their glasses together and were eyeing the two girls dancing in front of them. Roger whispered something into Benny's ear, which was no doubt something dirty. Mimi could tell by the devilish smile he had across his face.

Suddenly the film stopped, and the wall was white again. Mimi turned to Mark and smiled, "Thanks, Mark," she said before hugging him lightly. He knew that it mustn't have been easy for her to see.

Mimi got up from the couch and took the ultrasound picture in her hand, glancing back at the kitchen where her and Roger's ultrasound picture was hanging on the fridge. She realized then that he hadn't been pretending to be supportive. Every time he kissed her stomach or worried, he was making up for what he never had before.

For the first time, Mimi empathized with April. She couldn't judge her. She too was young, with a disease and an addiction once. And now, like April, she was pregnant. Not only were they both pregnant, but by the same man. Wait, no. It wasn't the same man, Mimi realized. It was a better man, not a selfish, tortured boy.

It was his second chance. Not that Mimi had doubted him, but a small part of her believed that Roger was upset about this baby, that he was acting to be excited for it. She looked back at Mark and mouthed 'thank you' again before disappearing into the bedroom.

It was nearly 2 am when Roger got back from the bar. He took of his shirt and threw it into a pile in the corner, accidentally knocking over a glass on the nightstand. Mimi rose from her sleep and held her chest.

"Sorry," Roger muttered, picking up the glass from the floor.

"It's ok. How was work?" She smiled at him.

"A bunch of drunks," he laughed, "but it pays the bills." She looked at him in the moonlight. He was beautiful. His jeans hung low on his hips, and he caught her staring at him. He paused, "You're looking at me?"

"Come here," she patted the bed, motioning for him to sit down next to her. She leaned on her arm and perched herself up.

He looked at her for a moment before she started, "A long time, I was sitting in my apartment and I heard a man and a woman fighting in the stairwell. He was telling her that she needed to talk to her boyfriend and that it was important. I didn't see them, but their voices were familiar. I didn't know what they were fighting about, but I knew it was serious." He nodded.

"The next week, I heard the same woman crying in the hallway, pressed up against the wall. I opened my door and gave her a sympathetic smile. She had a piece of paper in her hand, and I shut the door. Later that night, I heard a heart wrenching scream from upstairs. Ambulances came and I heard things smashing and people yelling all night." Mimi finished and rested her head on Roger's shoulder.

"It was April," he finished, "I didn't know you heard that. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" she laughed slightly, lifting her head from his shoulder. "Roger," she took a deep breath, "I found something today." He raised his eyebrow waiting for her to continue. "It was a box. I think it was April's. I didn't mean to look, but I opened it and" he cut her off.

"So you saw it?" She saw his face drop, unsure of what to say. He continued, "I'm sorry. I haven't even been able to deal with it myself. I was gonna tell you, but then you told me about the baby and I realized it wasn't worth living in the past. I loved April, yes, but she didn't love me the same way. It was a lust thing, and I liked it at the time, but I didn't know the real her." He flashed her a smile.

For once, Mimi decided to let it go. She laid back down, and Roger wrapped his arms around her. "It looks like Roger Davis has finally decided to grow up."

He laughed, "I guess I have."

Thanks so much for all the reviews again! This was a little bit of a filler chapter, but I wanted to get Mimi finding out about April out of the way. Hope you liked it. It was a bit fluffy at the end I know, but there is more stuff coming..so keep reading and reviewing!


	11. Why am I the Witness?

Thank you again for all the reviews- keeps me writing! I'm having a little bit of writer's block on what direction I want this to go, so any suggestions are welcome too. Hope you guys like this chapter! Let me know what you think...here it is!

**Why Am I the witness?**

They had finally made it to July. There was no doubting that Mimi was pregnant anymore, as her stomach was now healthily round. She had started working at the NYU Library, thanks to Collins. Mark had been working on a new documentary for Buzzline, and Haylie had bought the jewelry store.

Roger continued to work nights at the bar and perform on Fridays as well. Collins continued to live in the loft while teaching summer courses at NYU. Things were going well for all of them, and even Roger seemed optimistic, which rarely happened.

Mimi emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel and drying her hair with her tee shirt. She sighed when reaching the bedroom and sitting on the bed. Roger was just waking up and smiled at her as she brushed her hair in the mirror.

He walked over and wrapped his arms around her, placing one on her lower stomach as he kissed the back of her neck and looked at her in the mirror. Mimi turned to face him, and pressed her lips to his.

His hands danced down her back as her towel fell to the floor. She pulled him closer by the belt loops of his jeans. He smiled into her mouth when he felt her stomach press into him. "Good morning," she laughed, pulling away from him.

"Yeah," he smiled back, "Good morning." He leaned down to kiss her neck again, but she stopped him, giving him a knowing look.

"Roger," she pleaded, pulling his head up, giving a little laugh, "That's what got us into this whole mess."

He made a small pout at her before smiling. "I'm going to take a shower. Have a good day if you leave before I come out." He kissed her cheek and placed a hand on her stomach before snatching her towel from the floor and taking it to the bathroom with him.

"What's up with you?" Mark asked Roger as he made his way to the bathroom.

Roger sighed at him and started, "Well for starters, for the past two weeks, Mimi's been all over me. She gets me all excited and then stops and says 'we're gonna hurt the baby'," Roger threw his arm in the arm and made a girly voice.

Mark laughed at him. "Don't laugh at me, man," Roger started, "at least you get Haylie. I have to be celibate for three more months. I haven't done that since I was sixteen."

"Uh," Mark paused, "Withdrawal?" Roger rolled his eyes at Mark's comments, but was cut off when Mark suddenly grabbed his cheeks and planted a wet kiss on his lips. Roger made a noise before pushing him back.

"What the hell was that?" Roger said, his eyes wide.

"Well," he shrugged, "now you're not thinking about Mimi are you? Shut up and go take a cold shower. I'm sick of you complaining" He laughed, and heard Mimi snicker from the doorway of their bedroom as she watched them.

The bathroom door slammed. Mark shrugged again at Mimi before she laughed, "Thanks for relieving some of his sexual frustration." The door to the loft swung open and Collins had two cups of coffee in his hands. He handed one to Mimi and extended his arm to her.

"Ready to go Mommy?" he asked as she linked her arm in his.

She waved to Mark as they walked off to work. Roger liked that they worked on the same block, and Collins could walk her home at night and she wouldn't have to take the subway alone.

By the time that Roger had gotten out of the shower, the loft was empty. He looked around and sighed, "Alone at last."

He threw on his plaid pants and an old black tank top and perched himself on the windowsill with his guitar. He looked out the window, waiting for inspiration. He could feel the heat coming through the cracks in the window.

The heat had been unbearable. It wasn't like he could forget it with Mimi complaining and tossing all night. He had barely slept in weeks. One night last week, in ninety degree heat, Mimi decided that she wanted chicken soup for dinner and made Roger stand over a stove and cook. He laughed in the memory.

Roger peeled his pants off, and stood in his boxers. He sprawled across the couch, his guitar cradled in his arms still, plucking notes as he thought. He closed his eyes, trying to come up with something new to play.

_I'm really really hot/My roommate kissed me and my girlfriend laughed/I'm having a baby/I like Stoli and Marlboros/and this song sucks.._

He laughed at himself as he thought about how bored he was. Only minutes ago, he was thrilled to finally be alone. It was times like these when he missed Maureen's loud voice barging through the door. He smiled and let his eyes close again.

His eyes fluttered back open when he heard the door open. He turned to Haylie throwing her purse on the old metal table and flash a smile at him. "Where's Mark?" she asked walking over to him.

"Filming shit for Alexi, fucking bitch," he muttered, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

She laughed and continued, "Writing a new song?" she asked.

"Trying to, but it's so damn hot and I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open," Roger said sitting up and rolling his neck.

"Here," she said walking behind the couch and putting her hands on his shoulder, "I give the best massages." Roger would have protested, but he decided to shut up when she started.

"Now I know why Mark keeps you around," he joked as she kneaded his neck.

"God, Rog, you're so tense. Loosen up a bit. You need to get out more and get away from all of this stress," she leaned over to smile at him. If he needed to loosen up, this was certainly helping.

"I wish," he moved his neck in circles, and he could soon feel her breath on his neck. Her hands snaked down lower onto his chest, and she soon had her face in the crook of his neck.

"Just need to forget about all that responsibility for a while," she said, brushing her lips against his ear. He flinched and pulled away quickly, standing up from the couch.

"How dare you," he said surprised, his voice lowering, "You think I'd actually fall for that? You think I'd do that to Mark?"

She walked back over to him, "Come on Roger, you can't tell me you don't want this." She dragged her index finger from his lips and into the waist band of his boxers.

"Get out," he pointed to the door, "Now." He left his arm held out as she huffed and gathered her purse before slamming the door shut.

"You're just in denial," she muttered while sliding the door shut.

Roger sat back down on the couch, contemplating whether or not he should tell Mark about what had happened. On one hand, he deserved to know. On the other, Mark was finally happy and he had a life of his own. It would kill him to know what she had done.

When the film maker returned, Roger was still sitting in his spot on the couch. "Hey," Mark waved, throwing Roger a beer, "thought we could use these."

Roger faked a smile and cracked the can open. He took a long gulp and mumbled, "Why don't you grab one of those and come sit down."

Mark walked over. He saw the musician picking at his fingers nervously. "What's up?" he asked, "It isn't Mimi is it?"

"No, no," he shook his head, "Look Mark, something happened today."

"What do you mean something happened?" Mark moved closer.

"Haylie," he paused and breathed, "Haylie kinda came on to me."

Mark laughed, "Geez Roger, she was probably just being friendly. God, this heat's made you delusional." He slapped the other man's shoulder.

"Yeah," Roger scoffed, "If friendly is kissing your ear and slipping a finger down your pants?" Mark's face froze. Roger could see his body stiffen.

"You just can't stand to see me happy for once, can you?" Mark started. Roger began to defend himself, but Mark continued before he got the chance. "You know Roger, I've spent so much time helping you and now I'm finally happy. You just can't stand to see it can you? I should have expected this. I can't believe you're jealous. I bet you're the one who came onto her. You said it yourself, you can't deal with no sex. I can't fucken believe you Roger. Sex got you into this, and you can't even commit to your damn girlfriend? What an act! You know, you play Mr. Responsible these past few months, but it's all an act. Yeah, so responsible. That baby is gonna be sick and it's all because Roger was irresponsible and could only think about himself and couldn't keep it in his pants," Mark stopped and closed his eyes realizing what he had just said. He breathed heavily.

"You know what, Mark? Go talk to your girlfriend, because you know I'd just jump at the opportunity to cheat on my pregnant fiancée and ruin your happiness," Roger got up and took another long gulp of his beer before slamming it on the counter.

"I-I'm sorry," Mark stuttered.

"No, Mark. As always, you're right. I'm a fuck up." He looked into Mark's eyes. "And I may be a screw up, but I didn't touch or think about laying a finger on Haylie. I wouldn't have told you if I had."

Mark could hear the sincerity in Roger's voice. "Roger, listen. I didn't mean all the stuff I said. You know how I feel about you and Mimi," he looked down, shuffling his feet, "I can't believe she'd do that to me."

"I'm really sorry Mark. I just thought you should know." Mark didn't say anything, only nodded.

Mimi and Collins came through the door. Collins was laughing and holding a fan. "Look what I brought," he said holding it up.

"Woah," Mimi said when she saw the two men standing at the table, "Did someone die?" She laughed, "and baby, why are you in your underwear?" Her eyes moving to his pants lying near the couch. "That hot kiss earlier get you excited?" she purred.

He blushed. "I was hot," he laughed as Mimi ran up to kiss him hello, "Everything's fine. Mark and I were just talking."

Collins made his way to his "room", which was his old mattress behind a sheet in the corner of the living room. "What about we get Chinese tonight, on me?" he asked from behind the curtain.

"Mmm," Mimi said rubbing her belly, "This little girl would love some."

Roger laughed, "It's a boy for the last time. I swear, I know these things."

"Oh yeah," she laughed, "Dr. Davis says that it's a boy so it must be fact." She patted the top of his head and walked away.

The loft was practically silent for the rest of the night. The loudest noise was Mimi devouring and slurping her noodles and rice. Mark had made his way to his bedroom early, and Roger and Mimi had stayed up talking about wedding plans.

Collins was lying on the couch watching old 'I love Lucy' reruns, although it was more static than picture. He overheard Roger talking about how he didn't want his family and Mimi saying how she wanted both of their families there.

They had agreed on a small wedding at a little Italian place that Mimi had found near NYU. Collins smiled when he heard Mimi insist that they have the wedding at the end of October. He was even more impressed when Roger didn't protest or even ask why. He already knew. Angel.

It was nearly 3 am, and Mark still hadn't fallen asleep yet. He starred at the ceiling. He hadn't talked to Haylie and she hadn't called all night, which was weird because she had been spending all ofher time at the loft.He tried not to believe Roger, but he knew that not even Roger would make up that kind of a story.

He rolled his eyes when he thought back on how all the girls would swoon over Roger when they would go out to clubs years ago. Even April, who Mark was instantly drawn to, was more interested in the brooding rocker. He thought it was finally his turn to have someone. He rolled over and pressed his eyes shut.

It wasn't much later when Mark felt someone crawl into bed with him and place a hand on his shoulder. He turned over and rubbed his eyes, reaching for his glasses. He half expected it to be Roger, like he used to when he was upset and needed to talk.

He didn't have to put them on to see her dark wavy hair in the moonlight. Her dark brown eyes piercing through him, just as they always had. She frowned and sat up.

"Maureen?" Mark said surprised, finally adjusting his glasses.

"I just couldn't do it out there," she said. He could hear her choke up. Maureen didn't cry. If there was one thing Mark learned about Maureen, it was that she rarely cried. "I tried so hard Marky, but I just couldn't do it."

He went to speak but she continued, "Please, can I just stay here with you tonight?" She pouted her lips and he laid back down. She smiled and rested her head on his pillow. "Thank you, Marky."

He didn't know if he didn't have the energy to say no, if he really wanted Maureen to stay or if he felt comforted by having her there. For the night, there were no words or explanations. Just sleep.


	12. With Them or Without Them

Again, thanks for all the great reviews. They make me want to write that much faster.Sorry about the lack of updates lately! I just wanted you to know that I made a mistake in the last chapter. It is supposed to be August, not July as it said. This chapter is a continuation of Chapter 11 and is the next day

**With Them or Without Them**

Chapter 12- the next day

He opened his eyes and looked at the woman he had his arm wrapped around. She was sleeping peacefully next to him, breathing and sighing in her sleep. He brushed her hair out of her face.

He caught himself smiling but then remembered that it was Maureen. It was the same Maureen who had left him for another woman. There was a knock at the door. It was too early, Mark thought, but then glanced at the clock. It was almost noon.

Remembering that Roger and Mimi had a doctor's appointment that morning, he slipped out from Maureen's grasp and made his way to the door. "Coming," he said stumbling and adjusting his glasses.

He opened the door and saw Haylie standing there smiling. "Hey baby," she said leaning into kiss him. She pulled back and smiled again.

"What makes you think you can still do that," Mark asked quietly, putting his head down.

"I guess you talked to Roger," she paused and let out a small laugh, "Should have figured that much. I'm sorry, Mark." She pressed back into him.

"What? You couldn't have Roger and now you just think I'm going to just forgive you?" Mark was surprised at himself for standing his ground. He usually let people walk all over him, just like he had with Maureen.

She pulled away from him and her tone suddenly changed, "You honestly think I'd go for a guy like you Mark? Look at yourself and then look at me. I like you Mark, I really do. We've had a lot of fun, but that day you and Roger came in the store I just knew I had to have him."

Mark looked confused, "Haylie, he was buying an engagement ring."

"Exactly, he wasn't married yet," she shrugged as though it was nothing.

"So, wait. What are you saying? You had this planned all along?" Mark looked down. He felt betrayed. He shook his head, thinking to himself that he should have known. She did only stay at the loft, and she rarely went out when they were in a large group.

"Well, at first I did," she took his hand, but he quickly pulled it away, "but I didn't expect that I'd actually like spending time with you, Mark."

He nodded, cursing to himself. "So that first night when you stayed, it was all an act? Was it some kind of game to you?"

Haylie didn't answer and instead raised her eyes to meet Maureen standing in a button down shirt and underwear in Mark's doorway.

Maureen crossed her arms after stretching them and letting out a long yawn, "I think it's time you go."

"No, no," Haylie started, "you get all over me for hitting on your friend so I can sort my feelings out and you're sleeping with your ex-girlfriend?"

"Maureen?" Mark took a moment to look at the other brunette, "Haylie, Maureen's a lesbian!"

"I'm bi actually," Maureen pointed out quickly before letting Mark continue.

"So what would you have done if Roger would have gone through with it, slept with him?" Mark threw his arms out to the side and waited for an answer. He only got a shrug and a sigh. "I think I at least deserve an answer."

Haylie took a breath, "I don't know, ok? I was confused. Roger's my type, and you're, well, not! I'm really sorry Mark. Can't we just start over?"

Mark closed his eyes tightly at the suggestion. A part of him wanted to believe her and take her in his arms. This was the girl that he had been seeing for two months. It was the same girl that he secretly met for coffee everyday without his friends knowing. It was the girl who finally made him enjoy being himself again and feel. Was it all a lie?

"I don't think so," he said quietly. "I, I thought you were different." He turned away and silently climbed out onto the fire escape.

Haylie stood with her mouth open still. Maureen's arms were still crossed standing in Mark's doorway. "I think you've done enough damage. You should go." Haylie hung her head down and slowly walked towards the door.

She looked back once at the window but hurried out when Maureen raised her eyebrows at her again.

Roger and Mimi laughed their way into the loft moments later when they suddenly stopped at the sight of Maureen standing in the doorway.

"Why are you here?" Roger laughed as he ran over and caught her in a long hug.

"Take it easy and let me breathe," She said gasping for air, "What have you done with Roger Davis, Mimi?"

Roger laughed and kissed her on the cheek before Maureen gasped again when she looked at Mimi. She ran over to the young girl and placed her hands on her stomach. Roger noticed Mark sitting outside and walked over to him as the girls continued catching up.

Mark felt Roger's hand on his shoulder. "So Maureen came back last night." Mark looked at him and nodded. Roger rolled his eyes at him for the lack of explanation.

"Haylie came by this morning," Mark stated quickly. "Our whole relationship's been a lie. She actually thought that she could convince you to leave Mimi." Mark watched as Roger's face scrunched in confusion.

"Wait, I'm confused," he paused to rub his hand over his mouth, "She had this all planned?" Mark himself didn't know the answer and shrugged. "I'm sorry man. I didn't know, really."

"I know Rog. I just thought she was different." Roger wrapped his arm around the film maker, hearing him hold back a tear.

"Hey, you can't blame her though," he laughed, "I can't help it if I'm devastatingly handsome." Roger laughed but soon noticed that Mark wasn't joining him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Mark looked into the busy street below them and said, "Let's just go inside and catch up."

Roger patted him on the back before pulling the smaller man up from his spot and quietly stated, "Can we not tell Mimi about this? With the way she's been lately, it would only end in tears and me out in the streets." Mark nodded and pushed the musician back through the window.

By the time the boys reentered the loft, Maureen had already planned for the four of them to go out to lunch. As they sat on the couch, waiting for Maureen to change, Roger noticed that the spark in Mark's had disappeared. He couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible.

"Hey Mark, should we call Haylie to come? Has she been busy at work? I haven't seen her around in a few days," Mimi said casually as they walked out the door.

"We're sort of fighting," he responded, his eyes shifting to the floor. Mimi uncomfortably nodded and smiled as she leaned into Roger's arms.

"You didn't need her anyway. Plus, look on the bright side, you have me to keep you occupied," Maureen squealed enthusiastically. "Oh the fun we'll have. You can help me start a new protest, and I can go filming with you, and we can even go out to a bar and I'll let you sing and dance on tables." Maureen rubbed her hands together as she thought, her eyes brightening with possibility.

"Yeah, sounds great," Mark laughed rolling his eyes and mouthing 'Help' to Roger. As much as they all hated to admit it, it was good to have her back.

As they sat at the Life Café eating their lunch, the phone rang in the loft.

_SPPEEEAAAAAKKK_

_Hi, Mark, Roger? Maureen, honeybear, are you there? It's me. I-I just called to see if you were ok. I miss you. Please, please call me back. I'm sorry about what I said, I didn't mean it. I just wanted you to know that and that I agree with you- about everything. Bye Maureen. _

Sorry it was on the short side. Next chapter will be September. Reviews are amazing!


	13. Still in the Dark

Thank you all again for the great reviews and reading. I'm sorry it took so long to update, but I should have another chapter out in another day or so! Hope you like it!

Chapter 13:

**Still in the Dark**

Mark pulled his jacket around him tighter as he made his way back to the loft, feeling the cooler autumn breeze of September around him. He slid the heavy door to the loft open and set his bag on the ground.

Since his break up with Haylie the month before, he had been sure to keep himself busy with work. Mimi had been extremely emotional and miserable, so Mark didn't mind having an excuse to leave her alone with Roger or Collins.

September meant back to teaching for Collins, but the doctors at the clinic urged Mimi to work as little as possible. Against Roger's requests, she was still working three days at week at NYU library.

Maureen had made a permanent home on the couch and hadn't spoken with Joanne since she returned from Seattle three weeks earlier.

Mark took off his jacket and looked around the empty loft. He noticed Roger and Mimi's door slightly open and peered inside.

Roger was sitting on the bed with his back against the wall, carefully reading one of the many books that Mimi had brought home about pregnancy and parenting. Mimi's head rested in his lap and her eyes were tightly closed. He was humming a low tune, but would stop every few seconds when he scrunched his face in disgust, cocking his head to the side. Mark could only imagine what he was reading to make react that way.

"Hey Marky, you're home early today," he heard Maureen say from the couch.

"I finished early," he said while shaking his head, waking him from his daze.

"I was just going out to get some coffee. Do you want to come?" She smiled through her small pout.

"Fine Maureen," he laughed, picking his jacket up again while Maureen grabbed onto his arm.

Maureen latched onto his arm as they strolled down the street. For once, Mark wasn't annoyed by Maureen's behavior, as she laughed and teased him. He opened the door for her once they reached the café, and the woman behind the counter poured them two cups of coffee.

"Hey," Maureen said putting a hand on Mark's shoulder, "how you holding up?"

"Good, I guess," he shrugged. "A part of me misses her. I don't know. There's so much going on that I barely have time to think about it anymore. What about you?"

Maureen shrugged, "Just great." She looked down into her coffee, swirling her spoon around in the liquid with a pasted smile.

"Have you talked to her?" he questioned.

"I'm not ready to yet. I left Mark, and I'm not ready to admit that it's over." She inhaled and put her head down. "I haven't said that out loud yet. I loved her and now it's over."

Mark put his arm around her. She smiled and leaned into him, resting her head on his small shoulder.

"I can't believe in another two months there will be a baby around here," she said trying to discretely wipe a tear away from her cheek.

"I know," Mark laughed, "Roger and Mimi as parents. I would never have imagined any of this a year ago."

"And next month we have a wedding," Maureen added before looking up at Mark. "You know, I think I'd want a family someday."

"Really," he said surprised before looking back up at her, "Me too." She smiled and put the lid on her coffee while holding her arm out to him.

"Let's go home, Mark."

As the five bohemians sat around the large metal table, Roger took a moment to look at Mark. Although he was laughing, he had known Mark long enough to see the pain in his eyes. He hadn't been the same since Haylie had left the loft that morning. Roger still felt partially responsible.

Collins looked at Mimi, who was beaming. He was honestly surprised at how responsible the young girl was handling motherhood. He found himself smiling at her as she took another piece of pizza and ripped at it with her teeth, leaving a string of cheese dangling from her lips. She had been so optimistic. He would hate to see this baby be sick for Roger and Mimi, but he knew that the odds were not in their favor.

Mark took a moment to turn his attention from the banter of baby names to notice his best friend sitting across from him. His hand was placed flat on Mimi's round stomach as he laughed at Collin's name suggestions. His eyes were laughing and he flashed a bright smile. He was the only one who could see how nervous he truly was about becoming a father, not being there for his child, and about not being there for his future wife. Mark looked at the couple, who for once wasn't bickering, and decided to put his camera away. He didn't need the moment on film to remember it.

Mimi stretched her arms over her head and yawned. She started giggling and grabbed Roger's hand. "The baby has hiccups," she laughed putting Roger's hand to her belly.

"Mimi, I don't feel anything," he said raising his eyebrow as she pressed his hand down a little harder.

"You can't?" She looked up at him and giggled again. "It tickles." He shook his head at her and laughed again before getting up from his seat.

"It's late and I have to work tomorrow," Roger groaned, kissing Mimi's hand.

"I'll come with you," Mimi yawned and wrapped an arm around his waist as they walked back to the bedroom.

Roger laid in bed on his back with his hands behind his head, letting out a long sigh. Mimi curled up next him, placing her head on his chest and kissing it lightly.

"Are you nervous, Mimi? You always seem to know what to do and so sure that everything will be ok." He spoke so quickly and suddenly that Mimi's head shot up.

"A little, are you?" Her brown eyes met his.

"I mean," he rubbed his face nervously, "we're doing everything right. You're eating right, taking your meds, and reading and resting."

"I know, but it's ok to worry, Roger," she pressed her lips against his cheek, dragging her nose across his face.

"What if I'm a horrible dad? What if I drop the baby, or forget to feed it, or hold it too tight?" His eyes grew heavy and he looked at her lovingly.

"Impossible. My mom says that once the baby comes, that all the small stuff is just natural," she said, her face now only inches from his.

She took his face in her hands and delicately placed a kiss on his mouth, slowly parting his lips with her tongue. He let out a small moan as one of her hands ran through his hair. "I love you," she murmured, pulling back from him.

"Love you too." He slid a hand onto her thigh and rubbed it gently.

"Roger, how can you even touch me right now? I'm huge."

He laughed and leaned over her, "You're more beautiful than the day I met you." He pulled her into another kiss and then leaned lower to drag his lips across the peak of her stomach. He placed several quick kisses on it before sitting up again and smiling again.

"And since when did you become such a romantic?" she said as he began to knead her shoulder and neck with his calloused hands.

He laughed as she rolled her body back to rest against his chest. She reached up and wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him into another kiss.

"I told you," he laughed, "No one can resist me. I'm just too sexy."

She laughed and slapped his arm. "Don't let it go to your head," she giggled, "Today I was turned on by Mark eating a hotdog. These hormones are out of control."

"Mark turned you on more than me? I'm much cuter than Mark. Look at my arms!" He pleaded, making a pouting face and making a muscle with his left arm.

"I was talking about the hotdog Rog," she said laying back down and resting her head against the pillow. "You're still sexy, don't worry," she added in a tired voice.

He stroked her hair until she fell asleep. He smiled down at her and cuddled close to her body, putting his head under her chin and an arm under her stomach.

The next morning Roger was pouring a bowl of cereal, yawning and still stretching when Mimi came out of the bedroom. "Want some?" he asked, waving the box in the air.

She nodded and sat at the table. The voices made Maureen moan and shift on the couch. "Is Mark up?" she asked.

"Shower." Roger pointed to the closed bathroom door.

Maureen rubbed her hands together, "Good. I'm taking his bed. This couch is so uncomfortable." She tiptoed into his bedroom and shut the door behind her, leaving Mimi and Roger smiling and shaking their heads.

"I think she still loves him," Mimi stated bluntly taking a bite of her cereal.

"Who Maureen? Are you kidding me?" Roger laughed. "No offense Mimi, but I've known those two for years. If something was going on, I'd know."

"Well I didn't say anything was going on, but I still think they're both in denial." Roger rolled his eyes and muttered something about lesbians under his breath.

"What are you two arguing about now?" Mark said emerging from the steamy bathroom.

"Oh nothing," Mimi smiled as she winked at him.

"Mark please, go put some pants or something on. I'm trying to eat," Roger said jokingly as he pointed to the filmmaker in his boxers. She grabbed onto Mimi's shoulders and shook her. "Plus, my girlfriend has raging hormones. We can't have you getting her all excited."

T

"I thought that was your job?" Mark raised his eyebrow at Roger and Mimi laughed.

"Not lately," he said under his breath.

Mimi glared at him, "I heard that."

Mark laughed and made his way to his room while Mimi got up from her seat to get dressed. "I think today will be my last day at the library. The doctors really think I should be getting more rest."

He kissed her cheek as she disappeared into the room. He was already dressed for work and dreaded the long ten hour days at the bar. The only good thing about working during the day was that he was home by eight, which meant that he could eat dinner with everyone and spend time with Mimi.

Mark was changing when he heard something move in his sheets. He grabbed his chest and jumped to see Maureen pop her eyes open.

"Shit Maureen," he squealed, trying to cover himself.

He blushed. "It's ok, I've seen you naked before in case you've forgotten," she laughed. "Have you been working out?"

"Out Maureen," he pointed to the door, still covering himself with a towel.

It was nearly 8:30 that night when Roger came home to the empty loft. Mimi and Mark had left a note saying that they were going to pick up some Chinese and would be back soon.

Mark came through the door holding a large paper bag. "Where's Mimi?" Roger asked, lifting his head out from behind the couch.

"She said she promised to say hi to an old friend and it was on the way home," Mark said putting the food down. "She should be right back."

Ten minutes later, Mimi came running through the door and made her way straight to the bedroom. She slammed the door shut. Confused, Mark and Roger exchanged glances and Roger rose from his seat.

He wiggled at the door handle but it was locked. "Mimi, let me in."

"Get away from me Roger. Leave me alone." She said through her tears.

"Baby, what happened? Just talk to me," he pleaded, pressing his head into the door.

"I hate you Roger Davis. I can't believe you'd do this to me. Just leave. Go away. I don't want to see or talk to you again." She screamed louder, banging at the door from the other side.

"What did I do?" he pleaded, tears now streaming down his face. "I don't understand. Just talk to me!"

The door flung open, and Roger lost his footing and nearly tripped. Her face was red and stained with tears. She looked at him with disgust.

"You'll never change," she yelled into his face, "I can't believe you'd do this to me Roger." She repeatedly hit her fists into his chest several times screaming, "I hate you. I hate you."

He grabbed her by the shoulders, genuinely confused with tears running down his face. "Baby, I didn't do anything," he pleaded trying to make eye contact with her.

"Please leave," she said quietly, "I can't do this anymore. I trusted you Roger. I quit smack for you. I risked my life to give us the child you never had. How could you do this to me?" The door shut again, leaving Roger on the other side of it alone.

He placed his head in his hands and cried. He looked up at Mark. "Do you have any idea where she went?"

"The Chinese is on 14th and 1st," he paused to think, "and there's only one person I know who lives over there." He took a deep breath and looked at Roger. "You don't think she," he paused and shook his head, "she wouldn't go see her."

"Who wouldn't she see?" Roger stood up.

"Well, Haylie lives over there," Mark said looking down, "I should have realized it."

"Shit," Roger muttered under his breath. He grabbed his coat and ran out the door. Mark yelled to try and stop him but he was already gone.

A moment later, Mark heard a loud crash from the stairwell and looked over the railing. Roger was lying at the bottom of the stairs, his limbs twisted around him and his eyes closed.

**Thank you to all my reviewers again! Keep the reviews coming and let me know what you think..suggestions are welcome as usual!**


	14. To Loving Tension

Chapter 14:

**To loving Tension**

Before Mark could even survey the situation, Mimi had run past him and to Roger's motionless body. She shook him, tears in her eyes, saying his name over and over.

Mark slowly walked down the stairs to put a hand on her shoulder, and in a second she crumbled in his arms, sobbing freely into his sweater. "Roger, God Roger, please don't do this to me," she chanted as Mark rocked her.

Roger's eyes flickered open, "Wh-what happened," he murmured. He tried to lift his head but instead moaned and dropped back onto the floor.

Mark put his hands under the bigger man's arm pits and dragged him up the stairs, yelling at Mimi when she tried to help him lift his feet. "He's okay," Mark told her reassuringly as he felt his pulse and threw him onto the bed.

His eyes opened slowly nearly an hour later. "Mimi," he breathed weakly. She hated the way that her name came out of his mouth so desperate and fragile. She dabbed his cheek with a cool cloth and smiled briefly before turning away and walking to the window.

"You feeling ok?" she asked, barely looking at him, patting the cloth on his cut cheek.

"I guess," he said looking around to realize that he was in his own room. Mark was sitting in the chair with a worried look on his face. "Thanks Mimi," he said smiling.

"Well Mark couldn't very well clean up your cut," she said dryly and without emotion as she pressed the band-aid onto his cheek.

Mark got up from his seat when he saw the discomfort in Roger's eyes. "Mark stay," he said quickly.

"I'll just let you two talk," he said from the doorway.

Mimi nodded and started, still sitting next to Roger on the bed. "Mark told me what happened with Haylie. You should have told me. I'm sorry I over reacted, really, but I'm still angry." She looked down, waiting for him to respond.

"But why? I swear Mimi, nothing happened. It was all her. I know you two had gotten close, but you really need to trust me," she said desperately, grabbing onto her shirt.

"That's just it Roger," she said holding onto her stomach, "I believed it. I should trust you enough not to, and it scared me that I might not be able to."

"Mimi, you make it sound like I took her hand and put it down my boxers," he said with the usual Roger Davis sarcasm.

"She what?" Mimi's head shot up. Roger shook his head and took her hands in his own. He kissed her fingers lightly and placed her hand on his heart. She smiled back and nodded.

"I love you," he said. As he went to brush a hair out of her face, she backed away from him and closed her eyes.

"I," she paused and got up from the bed, "I can't do this Roger." He blinked, but when he reopened his eyes, she was gone from the room. Mark entered slowly and sat on the chair sitting next to his bed, saying nothing.

Roger lifted his head, "Mark my head is killing me."

Mark looked at him confused and grabbed the glass of water and an aspirin from the nightstand, handing it to him.

"You gonna be ok?" Mark asked sliding back into his chair and crossing his arms.

Roger took a gulp of water and swallowed. "I hope so Mark." Roger closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep.

For the next six nights, Roger slept on the chair in the middle of the loft. He found it nearly impossible with Maureen moving all night and Collins' snoring. He got up out of the chair and walked over to the window, letting himself onto the fire escape.

He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. The air was cool yet refreshing, and he almost liked the way it created goose bumps on his bare arms. He shivered a little as the night breeze washed over him and closed his eyes.

The window opened, and Collins smiled at the boy. "I heard you tossing and turning boy. What's up?"

"It's Mimi. I can't stand that she thinks I'd cheat on her," he bit his lip and shook his head. "I mean, Collins, we're having a baby in less than two months. We can't keep doing this."

Collins nodded and took a joint from his pocket. "First of all, here," he said handing the joint to Roger, "you need this." Roger smiled as Collins wrapped an arm around him. He had always been like a brother to Roger. He was the first person he met when he moved to New York almost six years ago.

"And about Mimi," Collins continued, "She's young Rog, younger than you remember sometimes. She's confused about everything that's going on right now. Think about everything you're feeling and then imagine all of that plus giving birth to a watermelon." The comment made Roger laugh lightly.

"Thanks Thomas," Roger said, handing the joint back to his friend.

"Anytime man," Collins smiled and turned around to see Mimi peek her head out the window. Collins smiled at her before heading back inside.

Mimi's arms wrapped around Roger and she kissed the back of his neck. "I can't take being mad at you anymore." He turned to face her and put his hands on either side of her stomach.

"I'm sorry," he said resting his chin on her head, making her giggle slightly.

"How's your arm doing since your fall?" she said running her hands up and down his bruised flesh.

"It's better now." He smiled again and kneeled down in front her so his face was level with her round stomach. "I'm sorry," he said again, resting his head against it. She ran her fingers through his hair while he wrapped his arms further around her back. It seemed as though they stood still for a lifetime.

He spoke again, "In two weeks, there's some guy who manages local bands coming to see me play. I know you're not supposed to be going out, but I want you to go. There's something I want you to hear."

She lifted his head and put a finger under his chin to raise his face, pulling him off the ground. She took his hand and lead them back into their bedroom. For the first night in a week, Roger slept soundly, with his fiancée in his arms.

Mark smiled when he saw the couple emerge from the bedroom in the morning holding hands. Maureen got up from the couch and flipped through one of Mimi's bridal magazines that were sitting on the coffee table.

"The wedding's still on Halloween, right?" she asked looking up at Mimi. Mimi nodded. "Well I was thinking," she paused and smiled, "Roger's birthday is next week. We should do something all together for one last time before the big day."

"Us being married isn't changing anything Mo," Roger said in between sips of his coffee. She smiled at the name he used for her. To this day, he was the only person that she would to use the nickname.

She shrugged, "I know. Just thought it'd be a nice idea."

"I think it's a great idea," Mimi said joining Maureen on the couch.

"No parties," Roger commanded and then hid back behind the VillageVoice.

Collins swung the bathroom door open and took a seat near Roger at the table. "So has the Davis clan decided on a name yet for the little princess?"

"or rock star," Roger added proudly. He looked at Mimi for an answer to Collins question.

"We can't agree on anything," Mimi groaned, "We're thinking Eva, Julia, Nicholas, Jarett," Mimi paused to think.

"And possibly Isabel, Eric, Gabriella, Miguel and Natalie," Roger added from behind his paper.

"Well it looks like you guys certainly have that one narrowed down," Mark laughed.

"We still have plenty of time," Mimi spat while taking the magazine from Maureen, "Let's just get through the wedding first."

"And the party for the birthday boy," Maureen flashed an obnoxious smile at Roger and he flipped her off.

He glared at Collins and Mimi who were laughing on the couch. "I mean it," he said sternly, pointing his finger to all of them, "no parties." Maureen couldn't help herself from smiling deviously as he disappeared behind his paper.

Roger came home from work the next week to his friends shouting surprise from behind the couch. He rolled his eyes at them as Mimi greeted him by wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a light kiss.

He smiled back at her as she led him into the loft. He stared at Maureen from his seat as she excitedly poured him a drink.

"Happy birthday Rog," she said smiling as she handed him his drink. He raised his eyebrows to acknowledge her as he took a sip of the drink.

The friends sat around the couch for the next hour and laughed, remembering the events of the past year. Mimi was leaning back on Roger, and his hands were placed firmly on her belly. Mark sat next to Maureen, trying to keep her excitement in check.

"Well," Maureen paused, "we really didn't have money to get you a present, but we thought you might like it if we all were together." He smiled and leaned over to hug her.

"Don't hug me yet, Rog," she laughed, "Since you're getting married in less than a month, Collins and Mark figured that this is almost your bachelor party." She took a bowl with folded papers in it from behind the couch. "It's time we play a little game."

Roger sighed as Maureen threw his hand into the bowl. "What do I have to do now?" he asked annoyed as Maureen and Collins began giggling.

"Well, we thought it wouldn't be a birthday without embarrassing you," Mark laughed into his drink, "so we all wrote down some questions and we'll see who knows you best."

"And why is it that I'm the only one who has to answer these questions?"

"You're the birthday boy," Mimi said putting a party hat on his head and snapping the elastic underneath his chin.

He unrolled the piece of paper in his hands and laughed out loud, "You guy are unbelievable."

"What does it say Rog," Maureen taunted.

"Who did I lose my virginity to?" he rolled his eyes. Mimi laughed at him.

"I already know that answer," Mimi kissed him, "Kelly Twyler when you were sixteen after your first gig." The others in the group looked at her as the couple laughed quietly.

"I didn't know that," Mark commented.

Roger smiled and took another paper from the bowl, "Let's get this over with." He read it again and choked a little on his drink.

"What's it say Rog?" Collins asked.

Mimi grabbed the paper and read it aloud. "How many people in this room have you slept with?" Mimi laughed and continued, "Well we already know that answer."

Roger took a sip of his drink and suddenly replied, "Two." Mimi looked at him surprised.

"I knew it!" she announced, "You told me you never slept with Mark, you liar. Don't worry, I think it's kinda hot." She swatted his leg as she purred into his ear.

"I swear it wasn't me," Mark said defensively. Mimi's eyes shot to Collins.

"Hey, don't look at me," he said throwing his hands in the air.

"Well," Mimi said, "You obviously didn't sleep with Maureen."

Roger raised his eyebrows, "She wasn't always a lesbian. I was young and stupid." He said leaning in to kiss Mimi's cheek as she smiled awkwardly.

"And drunk," Maureen added. "Mimi, no worries, he's all yours. Trust me on that one." She winked at Mimi.

"I think we've had enough excitement for one night," Roger said lifting Mimi off the couch. The couple walked back to their bedroom as Mark shouted out happy birthday to him.

They lay in bed and she ruffled his hair playfully. "I can't believe you slept with Maureen," she laughed teasingly.

"Ugh, Mimi please stop. Thinking about it makes me want to throw up," she laughed pressing his face into her neck. She smiled and put a hand on his head, feeling him breath heavily as he drifted to sleep.

"Happy birthday Roger," she said quietly as he drifted off. He moaned and curled up closer to her.

The others retreated to their rooms. Mark heard his door open and the light streamed through the dark room. "Couldn't sleep," Maureen stated.

"Me either," he said hiccupping, "I guess that Stoli got to me." She laughed and sat on his bed.

"I can't believe Roger's twenty six. It feels like just yesterday we all moved in here." He nodded in agreement.

"Maureen," he said putting his hand on hers, "I'm glad you came back. I really missed having you around."

She smiled and laid next to him on the bed, he reached over to pull her hair away from her face as she spoke, "I'm glad I came back too."

Mark's hand lingered on her face, and she turned her head slightly, letting his fingers brush against her jaw. He leaned and and softly kissed her mouth. For a moment she gave into his kiss and leaned into him, but she quickly retracted and sat up on the bed.

"Mark, what are you doing," she said pulling herself up from the bed, "I-I just can't. I'm sorry." He closed his eyes and heard his door slam shut. His eyes pressed tightly together as he willed himself not to scream or cry.

------

Thank you all so much for the reviews of last chapter- I love reading them! Keep letting me know what you think. The story will be picking up in the next few chapters. Hope you're liking it so far!


	15. The Eyes Gaze

Thanks again to everyone who keeps reading! There will only be another three chapters left to this story, but I was thinking about maybe doing a prerent story that went along with this as well. Let me know if you'd be interested in reading that. Anyways, hope you like this chapter..

Ch 15

**The Eyes Gaze**

Nearly three weeks had gone by since Roger's birthday and tension were rising in the loft. Mark had barely spoken to Maureen since the drunken kiss, even though she told him over and over not to worry about it. Mimi was now in her eight month and her doctor at the clinic had ordered her to stay in bed, making her impossible to please. Even Roger had a hard time bringing a smile to her face.

October seemed to be going by quickly. Maureen tried to excite Mimi by helping her make her wedding dress and helping her make phone calls to the few guests that were attending. Roger had even invited his mother, much to Mimi's surprise. Mark was consumed by his promotion at Buzzline, and only ate and slept in the loft. Collins was in the midst of midterms at NYU and was rarely seen other than during the weekends. Fall wasn't beautiful. It meant things dying, and everyone was reminded of the anniversary of Angel's death.

Roger slid the door to the loft shut and kicked off his boots, making his way to the bedroom. Mimi was lying in bed with a look of discomfort across her face. "You ok baby?" he asked leaning over to kiss her as her eyes shot open.

She pressed her lips together and replied, "I hurt so bad Roger. I just want the aches, and pains, and heartburn to end." She rolled over and looked at the clock. "Roger, it's only five. Why are you home so early?" she asked stretching her arms above her head and yawning.

He laughed as her shirt lifted up a little, letting him get a view of her stomach. "I have that gig tonight, remember?" He hoped she hadn't forgotten. The smile dropped from his face and said, "You don't have to come if you're not up for it. I understand Mimi. You shouldn't be out walking around anyways." He kissed the palm of her hand and brought it into his lap.

"Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss this for the world. You worked so hard for this," she said smiling and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"That's the smile I miss," he said with his eyes dropping to her stomach and placing his hand firmly against it. "Just think," he took her face in his hands, "we're getting married in two weeks." He smiled and kissed her again before getting up.

He returned with a rose and a chocolate bar from the other room. She had the candy unwrapped before he even handed it to her. He laughed and spoke again, "I'll be in the shower. Mark just got home if you need anything."

"I'm fine Rog," she motioned for him to leave, "Go get ready so you can impress me. I actually feel really good today." He smiled, disappearing behind the door. Mimi closed her eyes and let her head fall back onto the pillow, stretching her limbs out like a cat.

The next thing she heard was Roger throwing clothes around the bedroom. She yawned again, taking a sip of water and said, "What're you looking for babe?"

His head rose from a pile of clothes. "Something to wear," he said frustrated, holding up a black and red tank top waiting for her approval.

"Well what pants are you wearing?" she asked lifting herself from the bed. He motioned down to the black leather pants that he already had on. He shifted a little, as if he was still getting used to their tightness.

"Well, if you're wearing those pants, you're not wearing that shirt. The girls will be drooling," she laughed taking the tank top from his hands and ruffling his hair before sifting through the pile. She picked up a light blue button up shirt. "Here," she said handing it to him, "Unbutton the top three buttons and roll the sleeves."

He put the shirt on and looked at himself in the mirror. "I look pretty good," he laughed. His focus drifted to the red glow of the alarm clock in the corner. "Shit," he muttered, "I'm late."

He sat on the bed and tied his boots. "You and Mark will be there around 8, right?" he asked. She could hear the nerves in his voice. He had worked so hard for the opportunity, and after all he had been through, it was finally his time.

"Of course," she answered. "Good luck. I'll see you up there. I love you." She smiled into his mouth as he gave her a final kiss and waved as he mouthed _love you too_ before leaving the loft with his guitar case.

Mimi walked over to the sink and refilled her glass of water. She was Mark sitting on the couch playing with his camera. "What time are we leaving?" she asked walking over to him.

"Whenever you're ready and Maureen gets here," he laughed. "Go get dressed." He could see her shaking in anticipation for seeing him on stage again. "Hey Mimi," he said quietly causing her to turn around, "He'll do great." They both smiled, and Mimi shut the bedroom door.

Only seconds after Mimi went back into the bedroom, Maureen burst through the door to the loft mumbling to herself. "You okay?" Mark asked laughing.

"Yeah," she said taking a moment to notice him staring her up and down, "What? Is what I'm wearing okay?"

He choked on his words. "Yeah, I mean, uh, you look great." She twirled a piece of her long brown hair in between her fingers. Her shirt was blue and tight and she was wearing dark black pants that cut off just under her knees. Her boots were tall and tight and black. He gulped again as he looked at her.

"Hey Mark, about the other week, I don't want things to be weird. I just wasn't sure about Joanne, but I just wanted you to know that I wanted it too." It took Mark a few seconds to comprehend because she spoke so quickly. She stood in front him, hands on her hips, and waited for his reply.

"Alright," he said quietly, still taking in the events of the past minute.

"Alright? It takes me three weeks to say all that to you and all that I get is an alright?" she lectured.

Mark moved from his seat on the couch and walked up to her. "Well, I mean," he began, but something inside him stopped. He grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her into a kiss. She pulled him closer, leaning him into the arm of the couch as his hands roamed her back. Neither of them noticed when Mimi walked out of the bedroom.

"Um," she spoke quietly until they broke apart, "Mark, something's not right." She held her stomach and turned her head in pain as Mark rushed over to her side.

"God Mimi, what happened?" He was immediately alarmed by the look of terror in her eyes. He waved for Maureen to come over and whispered something in her ear.

"Oh god, it hurts Mark." He nodded and placed his coat around her shoulders.

"Come on Mimi. We're going to the hospital now," Maureen yelled from the doorway.

"It's too soon," she said pleading with Mark as he led her out the door.

At the bar, Roger was standing on stage tuning his guitar. He glanced down at his watch for the hundredth time. 8:26. The bar owner, Rick, had already given him an extra fifteen minutes. Roger scanned the room again, looking for Mark or Mimi. They were supposed to be there over half an hour ago. Where were they?

Roger looked up as Rick quieted the crowd, "Roger," he looked at the young man onstage, "There's a Maureen Johnson on the phone for you." Roger flung his guitar over his head and ran over to the bar.

"Maureen," was all he mustered out before he felt a warm tear roll down his cheek. He threw the phone back at Rick.

"Where the hell do you think you're going," Rick yelled as Roger went back on stage to grab his jacket.

"I gotta go man," he yelled slipping his leather jacket on.

"Listen, Rog. If you leave now, you're never coming back. I went through shit to get this manager to come listen to you," Rick shouted at him and grabbed at Roger's arm, digging his fingers into his skin

"My girlfriend's in the hospital Rick," he spat back in his face, "Keep your manager and go to hell."

Roger ran through the crowded streets. He couldn't feel his legs moving anymore. His chest was pounding and he leaned over, holding onto a street sign. He took a moment to catch his breath before continuing. His head was spinning. How could Maureen not know what was happening? She was crying. It couldn't be good. Roger's mind focused on one thing: Mimi. Before he realized it, he had run almost twenty blocks and rushed through the doors of the hospital.

The only thing Maureen had told him on the phone was that they were moving her from emergency to the maternity ward. He looked at the nurse sitting at the front desk and panted, "Maternity?" She pointed to the left and Roger paced down the hall, not noticing the looks his tight leather pants were getting from the nurses.

He pushed through another set of doors and saw Mark and Maureen. Maureen was sitting in a chair with her face in her hands while Mark was leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed. He took a deep breath as Mark turned his head to look at him standing still in the hallway. Roger hadn't noticed that tears were coming from his eyes again.

Mark walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "She's right in there, room 205. She's been asking for you." Roger ran into the room, sighing in relief as he saw Mimi laying in the bed sleeping.

He sat beside her, watching her breathe in and out. He instinctively reached around her to place a hand on her stomach, but soon felt that something was missing. His stomach dropped and he closed his eyes tightly. He looked up to see a nurse standing in the doorway. "You must be Mr. Davis," she said quietly. He nodded and looked back to Mimi, pushing her hair out of her face. "Please come with me."

Roger followed the nurse down the hallway with his head down, only looking up every few seconds. The nurse stopped and smiled at him. He found himself in front of a large glass window, staring at a dozen small babies. Roger wiped the wetness from his cheeks, for a moment thinking that everything may be alright.

"Would you like to see her?" the nurse asked motioning to the window. She noticed the slight look of surprise in the young man's face. Roger's eyes widened as he looked at the small baby wrapped in pink. He smiled, looking back and forth between the baby and the nurse before nodding. His lips parted, making a small smile, as the nurse went behind the window and picked up the newborn from her plastic basinet.

She came out of the door and placed the newborn in Roger's arms. It took him a moment to adjust to her, and the nurse assisted him in supporting her head. Roger looked at his daughter. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He smiled as she took on of his fingers and sucked on it. "Is she?" Roger began, looking back up at the nurse.

"They had to do a Cesarean because she was a few weeks early and her mother's HIV status, but she's doing beautifully. She's strong at five pounds nine ounces," the nurse smiled, "They'll be starting her on medications soon."

The nurse left Roger alone with his daughter for a few seconds. He looked down at her in wonderment. How could he have doubted that he wanted this? He twirled the hospital bracelet around her wrist and squinted to read it. _Danielle Eva Davis_. He smiled again, realizing the significance of the name. Mimi had remembered. A tear rolled down his cheek as he lightly bounced his sleeping daughter in his arms. Roger was so consumed in the glory in his arms that the commotion of doctors and beeping monitors behind him seemed to disappear.

**Thank you again for all the reviews for the last few chapters. I wrote this chapter a few different ways, but this was the one I ended up going with. Hope you liked it. I'm still not sure it came out the way I wanted. I love reading what you think, so keep the reviews coming!**


	16. Save from Devastation

Sorry this took so long to get out! I promise the next chapter will be out sooner. There's two more chapters left. Enjoy!

Chapter 16:

**Save from Devastation**

"October 19, 1991 10:30 p.m. eastern standard time. Close on Roger and his new daughter.." Mark pointed the camera in Roger's direction before getting a glare from him. Mark lowered the camera and placed a hand on Roger's shoulder.

Roger smiled, "She's so beautiful, isn't she?"

"Roger, we need to talk about something," Mark said reluctantly trying to smile.

"No, Mark, just look at her. She's perfect," he responded, bouncing the small baby in his arms. He pulled her up closer to his chest and rocked her.

"Yes, she is," Mark said, closing his eyes tightly, "Look, the nurse sent me over here to tell you that you need to fill out some paperwork and"

Roger cut him off, not taking his eyes off of his daughter, "I'll get it taken care of Mark. Just look at her."

"Rog, we really need to talk." Mark noticed the nurse inside the nursery and motioned for her to come over. The nurse took the baby from Roger's arms, which caused him to furrow his brow in confusion.

"Mark, what's going on?" he demanded, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

"The doctors want to talk to you Roger. Mimi still hasn't woken up since the c-section. Now Roger, don't worry, but I overheard the doctors talking and they said she's very weak. The labor was a major trauma to her body. I couldn't get the doctors to tell me anything, but they just came over and asked to speak with you," Mark finally looked up to meet his eyes with Roger's. His expression was blank as he pushed past Mark and turned the corner to go back to Mimi's room.

He stood in the doorway. Mimi still was lying in the hospital bed, pale and frail, hooked up to machines and tubes were coming from her nose. Why hadn't he noticed that she looked like this only a half hour earlier? The doctor was standing over her, marking things on his clipboard.

"Are you Mr. Davis?" the doctor asked waking Roger from his daze, "I'm Dr. Landers."

"Roger," he said extending his hand to the middle-aged male doctor.

"Mr. Davis, while your daughter is doing excellent for being born three weeks early, Miss Marquez isn't responding as well as we'd like. She lost a lot of blood and didn't handle the cesarean as well as we'd hoped. Her body is in distress from the birth. Do you understand?" Roger nodded, trying to take in what the doctor had just told him.

"Will she," he took a long pause and wiped his face, "will she be okay?"

The doctor licked his lips and sighed heavily before speaking. Roger closed his eyes while the doctor spoke. "We're very hopeful, Mr. Davis. We'll see how she feels when she wakes up." The doctor offered Roger a weak smile before leaving him alone in the room with Mimi.

Roger rushed to Mimi's side. He again felt the warmth of his tears rolling down his cheeks. His rough hands stroked her face and ran through her hair, pleading with her to wake up.

Roger looked up to see Mark and Maureen standing in the doorway. Maureen rushed to his side and took the musician in her arms, rubbing his back. "It'll be okay baby. Shh, She's right there. We're not going anywhere Rog." Maureen looked back up at Mark.

Roger crawled up from his spot on the floor and took Mimi's hands in his own, kissing them and pressing his head into her arm. He looked at Mark. "What am I going to do?"

Mark walked over and sat in the chair next to Mimi's bed. He rubbed Roger's shoulder as he sobbed into Mimi's hospital gown. "Don't do this to me again," he murmured, almost pleading.

Mark pulled him up, "Come on, let's go home for tonight. She'll be awake in the morning. Then you can go see Danielle together."

"Dani," Roger corrected him as he was pulled up from his knees. Mark smiled at him, while Maureen wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Let's go home," she said resting her head on his shoulder.

They walked silently down the hallway. Mark and Maureen glanced at each other, wondering when one of them would break the calm of the scene.

Surprisingly, it was Roger who spoke first. He lifted his head. "I should have married her." No one said anything.

Two days had passed. Mark was getting worried about Roger. He wouldn't hold the baby and spent his days curled up next to Mimi in a hospital chair. She was awake but very weak.

Mark walked in to find both Roger and Mimi sleeping. His head was leaning against her bed with his hand on her arms. She stirred and opened her eyes, causing Roger to shift in his sleep.

"When did you get here?" she asked, smiling at Mark.

"He woke me up around eight. He's been here for a few hours," Mark answered quietly. Mimi ran her thin fingers through his hair, causing him to open his eyes and smile at her.

"You're awake," he smiled, touching her face. "I'll be right back," he said getting up from his chair. He looked back at Mimi, who pouted and he shrugged. "Bathroom." She laughed at him and moved her eyes to Mark.

"I'm worried about him Mark. I know I'll be fine, but he's scaring me. I won't even look at the baby. He won't touch or hold her. The nurse brings her in here and he completely ignores her," Mimi said in a hushed voice.

"You should have seen him with her that night Mimi," he sat in Roger's chair and smiled. "He was amazing with her. You would have been so proud of him. Just give him some time. You know how his mind works. He's his own worst enemy."

She smiled and nodded. Roger came back in the room and kissed her forehead. Mark decided to go wait in the hallway and give them a few minutes to talk.

"Even in that blue hospital gown, you still look beautiful," Roger said staring into her eyes.

"Shut up. I saw myself yesterday Roger. I look terrible."

"You look even more beautiful than the first day I saw you standing out on the fire escape." He smiled at her again.

"Roger, that wasn't the first time you saw me," she laughed.

"Of course it was. You think I don't remember the first time I saw you? I even remember what you were wearing."

She laughed and slapped his arm, "You saw me before that. I can't believe you don't remember." It only occurred to Mimi at that moment that perhaps he didn't remember. She has only realized that it was him after Mark had shown her the film with April from Roger's gig.

"Well tell me," he said playfully.

"You were at the club Benny and a few other guys. It was probably over two years ago. It was only my third week at the club, right at the start of summer. Benny paid for you to get a lap dance because you were having a problem with your girlfriend. You were a very good tipper," she laughed trying to read his expression.

"Well you must've been a good dancer," he shook his head. "I can't believe I don't remember that. Was I drunk?" He titled his head, giving her a devilish smile.

"Were you ever. Those poor boys left you there all alone. We found you sitting at the bar alone at three a.m. Poor baby," she pouted at him, "Anyways. I went over to see if you were alright. You told me you liked my dance, grabbed my face and gave me a wet, sloppy kiss."

"I did not," he said sarcastically.

"Yes you did," she laughed, "and my friend Jill took you home. She said you, um, showed her a good time." Mimi didn't know whether to cringe or laugh. His head shot up. Suddenly things made sense. Jill. Waking up with Mark screaming at him. A loud club. Shooting up in an alley.

"You okay baby?" she asked, rubbing his arm.

"Yeah, it's just that I remember that night. It was the last time I left the loft. Mark found me in the morning all messed up in bed." He put his head down. Mimi nodded as he buried his face in his shoulder.

"Hey," she said lifting his chin up to her face, "Why don't we get the nurse to bring Dani in for us." He nodded just as the doctor walked in.

"Miss Marquez, Mr. Davis, I just wanted you both to know that you can take your daughter home tonight. Now Mr. Davis, I would like to keep Mimi here for observation for a few more days, but she's doing much better. She's a real fighter. We've increased her dosage on her medication for now, and she's responding quite well. Would you come with me to sign the release forms?" Roger nodded and stood up, following the doctor into the hallway.

That night, Mark was jolted from his sleep from the sound of Dani's wails echoing through the loft. He rushed into Roger's room to find the rocker sprawled out with a pillow over his head and the small infant screaming from her basinet. Mark scooped the baby up in his arms, trying to settle her.

"What the hell is wrong with you Roger? Didn't you hear her?"

The musician rolled over, mumbling 'Hmph' before pulling the pillow back over his head.

Mark brought Dani over to the couch and brought the bottle to her lips. She gently suckled at it for a few seconds before taking it in her mouth. She looked up at him, making him smile. He looked back at Roger's door, thinking of the way Roger had looked at his daughter for the first time.

Mark looked at the sleeping baby in his arms and set her back in her cradle. From the doorway his eyes shifted from the infant to her father, who was snoring lightly in his sleep.

Over the next two days, Mark found himself doing the same thing over and over. Dani would cry, and he would pick up the infant, feeding her, cuddling her, and changing her. Roger would sit on the windowsill with his guitar. Maureen had tried talking to him several times with no luck. Mark wished that Collins had been home. He was in Baltimore for the week at a teacher's conference.

Mark wrapped his scarf around his neck and placed the baby back in the cradle. She started to cry when he left her. Mark went over to Roger and shook him. "I'm leaving," he said still shaking him.

"Where are you going?" Roger asked rubbing his eyes. "Does she ever stop crying?"

"No, Roger. She's a baby. That's what babies do. They cry and you hold them. I'm going to work. Remember, I have a job. You should probably go beg for your's back too while you can."

"Well you can't just leave me alone with, with this," Roger motioned over to the cradle as if it was a distraction.

"I'm sick of this. Take care of your daughter. Try calling Maureen at the restaurant if you need help." With that, Roger heard the door slam shut and stood over Dani. Her face was red and wet. He huffed and walked out into the kitchen, pouring himself the coffee that Mark had made earlier.

'Won't you be quiet?' he thought picking up his guitar and sitting on the couch. He tried to strum a few notes, but was distracted by the wails coming from his room. He sighed, setting his guitar back on the couch.

He peered over the side of the cradle. He hadn't truly looked at her since the night she was born. Only four days old, she already looked bigger. He caught himself smiling and quickly brought his lips back together. He lifted the baby up and cradled her in his arms so she was against his chest.

He rocked her gently, walking around the loft. Her cries quieted as he patted her bottom with his right hand. 'So this is how Mark gets you so quiet', he thought. He looked down and smiled at her again. This time, his smile didn't fade.

Mark held Dani as Roger looked back into the hospital room for one last time. Everything was white. The sheets were made neatly on the bed as if no one had ever been there in the first place. There were no more flowers or get well cards lining the windowsill. There was no Mimi lying in the bed. He took one last look before shutting the door.

"Let's get you home," he smiled down to Mimi as he wheeled her down the hall. He prayed that they would never have to go back to that room again.

Voicemails

_SPPEEEEAAAAAK_

Roger, this is your mother. Honey, I just got your card in the mail. A wedding? I didn't know that you were seeing anyone. A baby? God Roger, I hope everything is alright. Please call me sweetheart. I miss hearing your voice.

_You've reached Joanne Jefferson of Franklin, Barnard and Jefferson. Please leave a message and I'll return your call as soon as possible._

Hi, Joanne. It's Mark. I was just calling to let you know that Mimi had the baby. It's a girl. They're both home and doing well. Just thought you'd want to know. Bye.

_SPPEEEEAAAK_

Guys, it's Benny. I saw Maureen today and she told me about Dani. I just wanted to say that you can call me if you need anything. I hope Mimi's doing better. Roger, take care of them. Call me if you need anything. Yeah, well bye.

_SPPEEEEAAAK_

Holy shit guys, it's Collins. I'm out of town for a week and junior can't wait? I hope everyone's okay. I should be home sometime tomorrow. Roger, you owe me thirty bucks. I knew it was gonna be a girl. See you tomorrow.

_This is Joyce Davis. I can't come to the phone right now, but please leave your name and number and I'll call you back. Thank you._

Hi, um, Mom, it's Roger. I got your call. It's been a long time. I'm sorry. There's a lot going on right now. I, I probably shouldn't- Nevermind. Just call me back okay? I, I love you Mom.

_SPPEEEEAAAAK_

Mark, Roger? Maureen, are you there? It's, well it's Joanne. Mark called me about the baby. I hope you guys are doing okay. I miss you. Just give me a call if I can do anything. Congratulations guys.

Hope you all liked this chapter. If the flashback part confused you, reread the first chapter. It was suposed to refer to that night, but I wanted to be alittle discrete to see if anyone would pick up on it. Thank you for the great reviews on the last chapter- I hope you all understood the significance of the name Danielle. Let me know what you think and keep up the awesome reviews. I love reading them! A new chapter should be up in a few days.


	17. Back on his Feet

Chapter 17:

**Back on his Feet**

Mimi had been home for nearly a week when Roger had suggested that they get married right away. Their wedding had been scheduled for Halloween evening at a small Italian restaurant, but the couple opted for a ceremony at city hall with only Collins, Mark and Maureen as their witnesses. It was quiet and intimate, and Mimi wore a simple off white dress that cut off at her knees. Mark filmed as Collins held Dani, pointing to her parents standing before them. To celebrate, they watched Mark's films at the loft. Roger and Mimi smiled the entire time, never taking their eyes off one another.

They finally had made it to Halloween. Collins had been especially quiet, and Roger knew that the one year anniversary of Angel's death was going to be very hard on him. Roger's eyes fluttered open at the sounds of his daughter's cries. As if on a timer, it was time for her 6 am feeding. He looked over at Mimi, got out of bed and picked Dani up from her basinet.

Mimi felt him crawl back into bed a while later and wrap his arms around her waist. "What time is it?" she asked, stretching her arms up and yawning.

"I was just up with Dani. Shh, lay back down. I got her back to sleep," he said burying his face in the back of her neck.

"You got up with her?" she smiled. "Thank you."

"It was fine, but you know what's funny? Maureen must've gone out last night because all her blankets were still folded on the couch."

Mimi let out a little laugh. "Roger, how can you be so naïve? Maureen's blankets have been like that all week. You just don't see them because you never get up with Dani," she said playfully swatting him.

"She seeing someone?" he yawned.

"Yeah, someone in the next room," she laughed under her breath.

"Mimi, stop it. That would mean," he took a long pause, "Oh." Mimi laughed at his realization.

"Let's get some sleep," she said scooting herself closer to him. He let his eyes close and sleep set in.

Mark could tell immediately that Roger and figured out what was going on between him and Maureen. Roger had never been good at being subtle. He had been winking and nudging Mark all afternoon.

Mark looked up from his camera. "Hey Rog, why don't you let Maureen and I watch Dani tonight and you guy can go out. You still haven't celebrated yet," Mark suggested.

"You sure?" Mimi added from her spot on the couch next to Roger. Roger rolled his eyes at her.

"Mimi, they spend just as much time with her as we do. Let's go out," he smirked, leaning over their daughter to kiss her quickly.

"Alright," she smiled back at him, "You sure you don't mind Mark?"

"Not at all," he responded, "I was planning on staying in tonight."

"Mimi, we should go get ready. Join me in the bedroom after Dani's done her bottle?" he wiggled his eyebrows. Mark shot him a look of disgust as he passed him and made his way to the bedroom.

"No funny business tonight with my daughter around Cohen," Roger laughed from his room.

Mimi came into the bedroom minutes later yawning. Roger wrapped his arms around her. "What do you want to do tonight?" he asked, hoping that she didn't see his smile in the darkness of their room.

"Don't care," she laughed, "Just let me put real clothes on. I hope they still fit." Mimi slid her shirt on and gasped, "My boobs are huge. They don't even fit in these shirts anymore." She looked over to Roger, but certainly wasn't getting complaints from his end.

"I don't mind," he laughed, buttoning up his shirt and adjusting the chain around his neck.

"Yeah, but they're so sore," she whined.

"Oh, believe me, we can certainly take care of that," he said kneeling in front her of on the bed and capturing her in a kiss before she could contest.

He pushed her back further onto the bed and leaned into her. "Am I hurting you?" he asked, wondering if her stomach still hurt from the c-section.

"Roger, shut up." She brought her lips back to his and ran her fingernails underneath the back of his shirt. "We're eager aren't we?" she laughed as he kissed her neck.

His head shot up, "Hey, I've been patient for five months."

"I see you haven't been counting," she giggled as he quieted her with another kiss. He pinned her arms above her head as he showered her face and neck with kisses.

They were interrupted by Mark banging on the door, "Rog, come out here for a second."

"Go away," Roger responded, continuing what he was doing. Mark could hear them laughing quietly through the door.

"Uh, really I think you should get out here," Mark said louder, still banging on the door.

"Mark, I'm busy. Go away," he laughed from the other side of the door.

"Roger Michael Davis, get out here this instant," a female's voice called out. Roger yelped and jumped off the bed opening the door to see his mother standing in the middle of the loft with her hands on her hips.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" he asked, still a little out of breath and shirt half buttoned.

"Roger, do you know what today is?" she asked him somewhat annoyed.

He thought for a minute and scrunched his face up. "Saturday?" he guessed.

"Was there something important you were supposed to do today?"

"I was just doing it," he muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes.

Mark quickly retorted, "He and Mimi were going out for a nice dinner, Mrs. Davis, and they were just getting ready." Roger smiled and nodded, agreeing proudly with Mark's statement.

Mrs. Davis stepped closer to her son. "I see," she said skeptically, wiping the lipstick from her son's chin, "but that color lipstick really doesn't go with your eyes." Roger looked over to see Mimi peering out from the doorway.

Roger huffed, "Mom, really, why did you come here?"

"Well I appreciate the welcome, Roger. I haven't seen you in over four years and come to the city for your wedding not only to find out from an Italian waiter named Marcelo that my son has already gotten married, but that he doesn't want me there." Roger winced at her tone. It was sarcastic, but Roger could tell that she was genuinely hurt.

It was then that Roger realized that today was Halloween. He hadn't even thought to call his mother to let her know that the wedding date had been changed, as she was the only person other than Mimi's mother who would have been attending. "I didn't mean it like that Mom. Mom," he motioned for Mimi to come out from behind the door, "this is Mimi."

"Hi, it's great to meet you," Mimi said shly, extending her hand.

Mrs. Davis looked at the small girl and caught her in a hug. "Oh sweetie, you're so thin. Is my son taking care of you?" Mimi smiled back at her and nodded.

"Mom, leave her alone. She just had a baby," Roger rolled his eyes in his mother's direction.

"Exactly," Mrs. Davis said quickly, eyeing her son, "Which is why if I know my son Casanova, she shouldn't be doing anything exhausting. Roger, why don't you fill the bathtub and let your wife take a nice relaxing bath. I'll cook you both dinner here."

Mimi smiled again, looking at Roger who was shooting her looks with his eyes. "Sounds fine Mom," he finally said, realizing that he had already made his mother angry enough.

"So," Mrs. Davis started, peaking around the loft, "when are you two planning on moving?"

Roger looked up quickly, "We're not moving, Mom. We like it here."

"Roger, this is no place to raise a baby. Speaking of babies, where is my granddaughter?" It was then that Roger looked at Mark, almost asking him the same question.

Mark answered, "Maureen took Dani with her when she went to get some take out for dinner Mrs. Davis."

"You let Maureen take my two week old daughter out?" Roger yelled.

"She'll be fine, Rog. Just relax and they'll be back soon," Mimi said cooling him.

"But she's not supposed to be out until we get the test results back," he said quietly to her.

"Test results?" Mrs. Davis looked back at her son and Mimi.

"Mom, you know I'm HIV positive," he said quietly looking at his feet.

Roger looked up at the loft door where Maureen was walking in with Dani propped up against her shoulder and a bag of food. He sighed in relief that this would hopefully change the subject.

Roger rushed up to his daughter and plucked her from Maureen, kissing her head. Mrs. Davis's eyes glazed at the sight of her son holding the baby. "She's beautiful," she said looking back at Mimi.

Joyce Davis smiled at her son as she held the small bundle in her arms, rocking her back and forth. Roger wrapped an arm around Mimi's waist and kissed the side of her forehead.

She looked up from the baby's green eyes and spoke quietly, "Here Mimi, take her. I'll go to the store and get something to cook for you both. We can talk more over dinner." Mrs. Davis smiled and grabbed her purse before walking out the door.

For the next two hours, Joyce cooked and sat at the metal table with Roger and Mimi. They talked about living in New York and what Roger was like when he was a baby. While Mimi was taking the plates away from the table Mrs. Davis sighed and motioned for Roger to follow her into the living room.

They sat on the couch and Roger opened his mouth to talk. "Look, Mom, I know this is about what happened earlier. There's something that you should know about me, Mimi and the baby." He looked down, waiting his mother's response.

"Oh, sweetheart, it's ok. I understand," Mrs. Davis brought Roger's head to her shoulder. "The baby isn't yours." Roger looked up to meet his mother's eyes and he shook his head slightly.

"No, Mom. It's my baby. It's just that," he took a deep breath, "Mimi's HIV positive too. We're waiting for test results to come in about Dani."

Mrs. Davis nodded, her eyes closed tightly. "Did you give it her Roger?"

Roger looked up again, "She already had it Mom." Mrs. Davis nodded and looked as if she was going to speak but stopped.

"Roger," she paused and took a long breath, "How did you get it? I know you said it doesn't matter…but"

"You're right Mom. It doesn't matter," he replied shortly.

"Roger, are…are you gay?" Roger couldn't contain his laughter at his mother's comment. Mimi glanced over and raised an eyebrow from the sink at the sound of his laughter. Mark came over and placed Dani back into Roger's arms.

Roger brought Dani up against his chest and patted her back. "Mom, do you honestly have to ask that? Well, you know I was in a band, and I met April. We got mixed up in a lot of bad things during that time. I'm not proud of it, but we ended up sharing needles and then it was just over." Roger closed his eyes tightly, wishing that his mother never had to know about that point in his life.

"Are you talking about drugs Roger?" she asked disappointed. Roger only nodded as he watched a tear roll down his mother's cheek.

"Mom," he said reaching towards her, but she pulled herself up from the couch, clutching her purse tightly.

"Take care of yourself Roger. I'll let myself out," she offered a small smile in Mimi's direction, "It was so nice to meet you, Mimi. Take care of each other." With that the door shut and Roger was left on the couch with his mouth slightly opened. Mimi came to his side and captured him in a hug.

As they lay in bed later that night, Roger rolled over and kissed Mimi's neck, rubbing her sides suggestively. "Where were we earlier?" he asked in a low voice.

She returned his hungry kiss for a moment before pulling away, "Roger, you're angry at your mother. Maybe we shouldn't do this yet. She was right. I should be resting." He huffed and rolled over so his back was to her.

She rubbed his back and kissed the back of his head, "I love you."

"Do you have any regrets, Mimi?" he asked bluntly. His voice wasn't cold, but it wasn't soft and caring either.

"I don't regret," she replied as he rolled over to face her. "Do you?"

"No," he said quietly taking her fingers into his calloused hands. "Can I ask you something?" She nodded for him to continue, "If Dani is sick, will you blame me?" She caught his deep green eyes in the darkness and kissed him softly, not even replying to his question.

"Where did that come from?" she asked pulling away from him.

"I was just thinking. It was my fault that you got upset about what happened with Haylie. It was my fault that we fought for two weeks after that. It was my fault that you went into labor early because you were stressed," she cut him off before he could continue.

"And everything was fine," she smiled. "None of that was your fault. I'm sorry about everything. I overreacted." He pulled their foreheads together and smiled.

"I'm sorry too," he placed his lips on her forehead.

"Rog, if anything ever happens to me, promise me that you'll take care of Dani. Please don't be angry and shut yourself down," she said quickly while his mouth was pressed against her head.

"Mimi, you're fine. You aren't going anywhere."

"I know. I just want you to promise," she said, her sad brown eyes looking up at him.

"I promise."

Xoxoxoxox

Sorry it took so long to update. I was having major computer issues all last week. The good news is that I'm finished this story so it should all be up in about a week and I'll be starting a new story. I love reading the reviews and just wanted to thank all of you who have been reading since the start! Keep them coming and I'll keep posting the last two chapters.


	18. Goodbye Love

This is the second to last chapter of this story. Some people have asked if I'll be doing a sequal to this. Honestly, I'm not a big fan of Rent kids stories, but I will be doing a sort of prequal. It will deal with Mark/Maureen and The Roger/April situation, also with Roger meeting Mimi incident. Hope you enjoy this!

**Goodbye Love**

Roger opened his eyes, stretching his limbs across the bed. He smiled and looked over at Mimi, who was still asleep. It had been the first time in weeks that he hadn't woken up to the sounds of his daughter's cries.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and pressed himself onto his feet. He peered over the side of Dani's cradle and ran his fingers across her stomach. She cooed quietly, suckling on her fist and Roger pulled away, glancing back to Mimi's sleeping form.

He felt a smile reach his lips again. His bare feet jogged across the cold loft floor and into the kitchen. Mark was already awake and sitting on the couch editing film with a coffee in his hands. He could hear the shower running, meaning that Maureen must've had an early audition.

Roger poured himself a cup of coffee and blew his cool breath against the hot liquid, cautiously bringing the mug to his lips. "You should really wake Mimi up, Rog. You know Dani is getting her tests today," Mark reminded him from the couch, looking up from his camera.

Roger took another mug from the counter and filled it with the black coffee. He padded back to the bedroom, attempting to balance the full cup in his hands. He kneeled onto the bed, setting the coffee on the crate beside his bed. "Baby, time to wake up," he crooned in her ear, brushing the hair from her face.

"Mimi," he sang leaning in to kiss her. His entire body froze when his lips made contact with her mouth. He pulled back, his eyes closed tightly. When he reopened his eyes, he saw the blue tint to her lips. He brought his hand to her icy cheek, not noticing the tears streaming from his eyes.

Dani began to stir and cried lightly from her cradle. Roger stroked Mimi's hair, whispering her name over and over. They had been warned of the effects that carrying a baby would have on her body, but Roger had never once doubted her strength.

Mark would never forget the sound of Roger choking back on his tears as he rocked Mimi's lifeless body. Mark would never forget the look of helplessness in Roger's eyes as he opened the door. Mark would never forget the feeling in his stomach as he slowly walked over the Roger's room, knowing what he would find on the other side.

Mark peeled Roger away from her body. The musician wiped his eyes and lifted his daughter from her cradle, kissing her forehead and patting her bottom. Mark watched as he silently retreated to his spot on the windowsill, staring aimlessly out the window and into the New York City streets.

Mark reluctantly reached for the phone. Roger's eyes never left his daughter for the next hour. He made no noise when the paramedics came to remove her body from the loft. It was nothing like April, Mark noted.

There were no heart wrenching screams. There was no Roger pleading with her to wake up. Roger hadn't fought with the paramedics as they dragged the body bag past the loft door. Roger sat quietly, never looking up as he heard the shuffle of feet and whispers. He could see the ambulance drive away. There were no sirens or lights flashing as it disappeared down Avenue B. There was nothing to save.

Mark and Maureen watched as he retreated back to the bedroom, first taking a bottle for Dani from the kitchen. Mark stood outside the door, pressing his ear to the door. He could hear Roger's muffled cries. He could hear the sound of Roger twisting in the sheets and inhaling deeply, as if to remember her scent. Mark decided to back away, and he pulled Maureen into a tight embrace.

It was nearly four hours later when Maureen heard the door click open, exposing Roger in the doorway to his bedroom. He plopped the infant into Maureen's lap. "Take her," he said coldly, "I've had enough looking at her."

Mark rubbed his eyes at the sound of Roger's voice. "Roger, what are you doing?" Mark asked sleepily, still clutching Maureen's waist.

It was then when they both saw Roger snap. His hands clenched into fists as he eyed the bright eyed baby in Maureen's lap. "She killed her mother. I can't even look at her." The musician crumbled to the ground, beating the floor with his fists like a child. "She didn't even say goodbye. I hate her. I hate her."

"You selfish prick, how can you even say that?" Maureen screamed at him, tears running down her cheeks. Mark pushed her back.

"Just let him," Mark whispered as he watched Roger melt into a temper tantrum on the floor of the loft.

"I've killed everything I've ever loved. Get that baby away from me, or I'll kill it too. Just like April. Just like my father. Just like Mimi." Mark picked up the phone to call Collins, who was at work already, when Roger had cried himself to sleep. He was curled into a ball, pressing the heel of his hands into his eyes.

The funeral occurred three days later. Maureen was surprised that Roger had wanted to go, especially after watching him break for the past several days. Collins supported Roger as he shakily made his way up to the casket, which Benny had offered to pay for. Mark watched from the pew as Roger fell to his knees in front of Mimi's coffin.

A round, middle aged woman with warm skin lifted the boy from the ground, taking him in her arms. Mark wasn't sure if Roger had ever met Mrs. Marquez before, but she was the only one who Roger had allowed to hold him. Roger hated feeling helpless, even during his days of withdrawal. It pained Mark not to be able to console him as he once had.

Mark looked back into the church. There were only several faces that he didn't recognize, and he assumed that they were Mimi's family. She rarely spoke of them. He saw Benny and Alison in the back, a few people from life support, and another familiar face. Haylie. She was sitting behind Benny. Mark had almost forgotten that during the time they dated that she and Mimi had become close friends. He considered going over to him until Maureen clutched onto his arm and leaned into his shoulder.

Maureen let go and went up to Roger, who was walking back from the casket, and pulled him into a hug before sitting him down. Mark took the moment and walked over to his ex-girlfriend. As much as he was angry for her over what had happened between them, they had never once talked about it. He felt a small part of his heart crack at the sight of her crying.

"Mark," she said surprised when the filmmaker touched her arm. Mark only smiled and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Haylie offered. Mark nodded before whispering 'bye' and going back to Maureen. He sighed deeply, feeling relieved from all of the unresolved feelings that surrounded their break up. He looked back and smiled at her again. Maybe, he considered, words didn't need to be said.

Mark remembers walking back to the loft, attempting to keep Roger from falling to the ground. His eyes were glazed over and empty. Collins tightly held Dani, who playfully cooed, totally oblivious to the situation unfolding around her.

Mark didn't use his camera for the next several weeks. He called the bar and got Roger his job back, but Roger rarely left the walls of his bedroom. He refused to change the sheets. This was nothing like April. There was no anger, no regret. There was no hate or remorse. This was something different. Mark closed his eyes, letting himself grieve for himself for a moment. He felt guilty doing this.

He looked back at Collins and Maureen, playing with Dani on the kitchen table. She was almost two months old and had grown considerably. He prayed that Roger would be able to see her grow. He thought about all the things that Roger would have to do alone. He would get the test results alone. He may have to lose his daughter before her second birthday. Would Roger live to see her second birthday?

He would never be alone, and Dani would never be alone. Roger had experienced more heartache than most people his age. He was twenty six years old. He was twenty six years old, living in the city, dying in the city, raising a child in the city. Could Roger do this on his own? Would he ever be the same?

Mark picked up his camera and pointed it in the direction of Dani, who Maureen was trying to teach how to say her name. "Maureen she's only two months old," Mark laughed, looking at his friends.

Mark shifted the direction of his camera as he heard Roger stumble out of his room. He hadn't showered in days. His hair was a mess and he face covered with stubble. He walked over to Maureen and Collins, smiling for the first time in over three weeks. He took his daughter into his arms and kissed her face.

He rocked the growing baby in his arms as she smiled back up at him. Mark caught Roger's magnetic smile on camera. He looked up at the film maker and mouthed 'thank you'. Mark set his camera down for a moment, putting his arm around Maureen. The three bohemians watched Roger walk around the loft, quietly singing to Dani, rocking her back and forth until she was asleep.

Mark looked at the calendar that was on the wall. It was Christmas Eve. Mark smiled, lifting his camera back up to find Roger on the couch with his sleeping daughter in his arms. This time, Roger didn't look up to meet his eyes.

xoxoxox

Thank you guys again for the reviews of the last chapter. I really love reading them! Let me know what you think. This chapter was a little short, but I wanted it short and to the point, almost like a flashback. Keep the reviews coming, especially since there's only another chapter.


	19. Someday We'll Know

Here's the last chapter. I'm sorry I killed Mimi, but it was my intention the whole story. I hope it didn't ruin it for too many of you! I'll probably take a break before posting the first chapter of the new story, which as I said, we be a pre-Rent story and mention most of the things that lead up to this story. I hope you like the ending!

**Someday We'll Know**

He could tell that it was her without opening his eyes. On his back, with his hands behind his head, he felt her crawl over him slowly. Her legs hooked underneath him as she sat across his lap, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

He let out a soft moan as her lips brushed against the sensitive skin, and he ran his hand along her back. Roger lifted her chin and brought their lips together as she wrapped herself tighter around his strong frame.

Mimi smiled into his mouth as her kisses trailed over his neck and chest, running her hands underneath his tee shirt. Suddenly he felt her do something unexpected. "Baby, what are you doing?" he asked as she tickled his sides. He tried to contain his laughter, but was truthfully somewhat annoyed.

He felt himself being shaken, and he finally opened his eyes. He was looking up at the blue September sky, his view obstructed by his grinning five year old. Suddenly, he was out of his bedroom and laying on a blanket in the middle of the park.

"Daddy, you were drooling," she laughed as he yawned and scratched his head. He smiled for a moment, thinking back to the reality of his dream, and sat up, taking Dani in his arms.

"Yeah," he said matter of factly before kissing her cheek.

"Were you dreaming about Mommy?" Dani asked quietly, getting away from Roger's grip.

"What? Why would you say that?" He was shocked as to how perceptive she was and suddenly prayed that he hadn't been moaning out loud as he had been in the dream.

"You always call Mommy baby when you talk to her at night before you go to bed. I can hear you." Roger smiled and scooped the small girl back up in his arms, slightly embarrassed.

"You're my baby," he said pressing his nose into her face, making her giggle.

Mark watched through the camera lens as Dani sat in Roger's lap, her hands over his as he played her a song on his guitar. _September 2, 1996 Eastern Standard Time. Close on Roger._ She sat on him, beaming, in total awe of his ability to make the music come from the weathered instrument.

Mark looked back at Roger, who had his chin resting on top of his daughter's head as he played her song. He was smiling. He looked nearly the same as he had five years earlier. Slightly thinner, you could see his cheeks starting to cave and Mark noticed his ribs sticking out when he came out of the shower. His arms, though still strong, no longer were the same. His hair was still long and blew in the warm breeze. Mark smiled and set his camera down, kissing Maureen on the cheek as she sat beside him.

"Do you miss Mommy?" Dani took his hand and played with his fingers.

"I'll always miss Mommy, baby," he said bringing her chin up as he once did with Mimi. He saw his beautiful five year old's face scrunch up, her eyes glazing over. "What's wrong sweetie?"

"Daddy, I miss Uncle Collins," she cried, suddenly giving into her tears, and wrapping her arms around Roger's neck. Mark and Maureen were sitting on a bench in front of them. Roger shook his head at Mark when he instinctively rose from his seat at the sight of Dani in hysterics.

"Shh, baby, please don't cry. You know how much I hate it when you cry," he said running his hands through her long, wavy brown curls. "He wouldn't want you to be sad."

"Yes, he would. I didn't keep my promise," she said as Roger wiped her cheeks with his thumb.

"Promise?" he asked, genuinely interested.

"He said it was my job to take care of you now that he's gone. He said that he didn't want you to be sad because of Mommy. I did a bad job," she continued to cry.

"Baby, Uncle Collins was wrong." The five year old gasped at her father's reply, which caused Roger to hide a laugh. "You do the best job at taking care of me."

Roger rolled onto his back and lifted his daughter over his head. She kicked her legs, causing her flip flops to fly off and hit Maureen. Her long hair tickled his face as he held her out above him as he looked into her piercing green eyes.

"I think you'll be lonely when I go to school Daddy," she said as he laughed as he put her back down.

"I'll be fine, sweetie," he laughed, fixing the pink clip in her hair.

"Maybe we should have another baby. I'm getting pretty big, and I think you'll be sad all alone all day."

Roger smiled and looked down at Dani, "Dani, you know we talked about babies." He suddenly dreaded her growing up, and he may not live long enough to have that talk with her.

"Well, Uncle Mark is your best friend, right?" she asked and Roger nodded. "Best friends are supposed to share. Maybe he can let you borrow Auntie Maureen. She's a girl. Then you won't have to be sad when I go to school." Roger held his side to contain his laughter. It was apparent by Maureen's huffing that she had heard the comment as well.

The moment was interrupted by Roger's beeper. He leaned over to grab his jacket and pulled out two small bottles. "Here you go sweetie," he said putting a small pill in Dani's hand and giving her a bottle of water.

She made a face when it went down. "I really don't like those pills, Daddy. They're gross."

"I know, baby, but you need them," he was suddenly saddened and swallowed his own pill, looking back at Mark and Maureen on the bench. "Since you start school tomorrow, why don't we do something really special?"

"Like what?" she asked as he pulled her up and started rolling up the blanket.

"Anything you want. Tomorrow's your day," he said as she ran up to Maureen. Maureen took her by the hand as Dani whispered in her ear.

Roger walked over, placing the blanket in Mark's bag and raising an eyebrow. The two girls plotting never resulted in anything good. Even though most of Roger and Maureen's conversations consisted of bickering, he was thankful that Dani had some sort of female in her life.

Roger went to speak up as Maureen began to walk away with Dani. "Calm down, Rog. It's girl business." Roger paused for a moment, confused. "Bathroom," Maureen said again rolling her eyes and continuing to walk.

Mark put his camera in his bag. "What was Dani upset about?" he asked.

Roger sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. "She started asking about Mimi, and got upset about Collins again. She suggested that Maureen and I have a baby," Roger laughed, trying to smile through his thoughts of Mimi.

"Roger, you knew she would start asking questions eventually. You've always done a good job of keeping Mimi a part of her life," Mark paused, hoping he wouldn't regret what he said next, "And maybe she's right Roger. You should start getting back out there. Dani's not a baby anymore. It's been five years, and its okay to move on."

"Mark," Roger quickly retorted, "I don't need anyone else." Mark didn't respond with any more than a nod as he put a hand on Roger's shoulder.

Dani came running back, Maureen following, with a hotdog in her hand. "Maureen, it's almost dinner time," Roger scolded as he watched the young girl bite into her hotdog.

Maureen laughed and crouched down to Dani's level, "How could I say no to this face?" Maureen and Dani pouted, sticking out their bottom lips. Roger rolled his eyes.

"Did you think about what you wanted to do?" Roger asked, wiping the mustard from his daughter's face.

"Yup," she grinned, "Can we really do anything I want?" Her eyes sparkled at the endless possibilities.

"That's what I said, isn't it?" Roger asked excitedly.

"I want to go to the hairdresser," Dani said smiling.

"You just got your hair cut, silly," he said leaning down to meet her eyes. She put her hands in his wavy blonde hair and pushed a piece behind his ear, slightly laughing.

"I know, Daddy. I want you to get a hair cut." Roger gulped, remembering that he had told her that she could do whatever she wanted. He looked up at Mark and gave him a crooked smiled, as if asking for help.

"Don't look at me, Rog. You told her she could do what she wanted." Roger rolled his eyes at Mark's remark. Mark, who was still laughing, wrapped an arm around Maureen and leaned in to kiss her.

Roger flung his daughter over his shoulder, giggling and kicking out her legs. "If that's what you really want to do," he said reluctantly.

The group continued to walk down the crowded city street; Dani hanging over Roger's should and making faces at Mark and Maureen who followed close behind. She embodied so much of Mimi's spirit and was able to make anyone instantly smile. She had eased all of Roger's fears. She had helped him grow up. He was no longer a bitter, troubled man who hid from reality. Dani had forced life upon him again, just as Mimi once had years ago.

Maureen winked at the little girl, silently thanking her for her choice in activity for the afternoon. She hadn't been kidding when she told Roger that they were taking care of

'girl business'. He should have known that girls gossip in the bathroom. They had been trying to get Roger to cut his hair for the past two years with no luck. They knew that he wouldn't have been able to say no to his daughter.

Roger was so busy blowing raspberries into his daughter's stomach that he didn't notice when the filmmaker slipped a five dollar bill into the wide eyed five year old's small hands.

**I hope you liked it. I actually went back and added the dream at the beginning because a lot of people said they wanted Mimi to come back. Thanks to everyone for your reviews and I hope you read the new story too. It should be up within the week. **


	20. Author's Note

Author's Note:

I just wanted to say sorry for the hiatus. I've been extremely busy moving back into school, work and school stuff. Anyways, I just wanted everyone who read this story to know that I just posted the first chapter of the prequel to this story "Fall Away". Please read and review. I loved them from this story and hope you read this one too. Thank you all again for reading and reviewing the last story. I promise to keep updating the new one, but I just wanted to wait to start it until I felt inspired..

Jhart09


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